


Oh Great. It's You Again.

by Taimae



Series: A Bird & a Lion [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Banter, Bickering, Dealing With Loss, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Teasing, some explicit content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 08:51:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 24,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12453861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taimae/pseuds/Taimae
Summary: Aerianne Hawke joins the Inquisition team at Skyhold and finds herself reluctantly catching-up with a certainly former templar. How much has changed between them since they were back in Kirkwall?Started off as one-shots that have managed to become a slow-burn, cheesy, fluffy, angsty story~EDIT: Bumped up to M rating due to content of Chapter 11. The rest can be considered a T rating.





	1. A Reluctant Catch-up

**Author's Note:**

> My very first Dragon Age 2 playthrough went pretty badly for my poor Hawke. Like, I’ve never never made worse choices for a character (I legit managed to have Isabela run away and fight Fenris in the final battle). I always wished I could give her a less sad ending, so why not write a fic about it? This will probably be a series of fluffy one-shots, similar to my Trevelyan x Cassandra ones.

It was not unusual for the commander to have a grumpy expression on his face. If you asked any of his men, the would say it was only facial expression, with the exception of irritated and annoyed of course. Not to say that Cullen wasn’t a good commander. If anything he was amazing at it. Organized, thorough, dedicated...

But would it kill him to lighten up now and then?

This time however, Cullen perhaps had a bit of reason to his irritated look. It had come to his attention that one of his guardsman, Tennant, was shacking up with one of the kitchen girls while on duty and it was starting to cause a bit of a nuisance. Could they not contain themselves until the evening? Or switch his schedule around? None of this was difficult.

 It was time to put an end to these little rendezvous once and for all.

There had been mention of the guard sneaking off to one of the rooms that overlooked the garden. Although they were meant for guests and dignitaries, the Inquisition was still getting back on it’s feet, so of course it shouldn’t be a surprise that others would use it for more personal reasons. Eventually, Cullen found the room that he had been informed of and knocked on it several times. There were no whispers, but there was certainly the sound of someone in there moving about. They were in there.

“Right then, you two. I know you’re both in there,” Cullen said irritably. “Just come out and face the consequences of your actions, Tennant,” Once the door opened, the person who answered was not quite who he expected, and his face quickly went from irritation to surprise to slight regret. 

Right. There was _one_ guest.

“Knight-Captain Cullen,” a woman with light brown hair, mauve eyes and olive-toned skin opened the door. “Or I guess it’s Commander now. Thought I recognized that annoyingly-demanding voice from somewhere,” she muttered.

“Hawke,” Cullen said, looking taken back at the situation. “I didn’t realize that you had taken up this room,” or that she was still here, to be quite honest. She had a way of disappearing as of late.

Varric introduced her to the War Council and the Inquisitor when she first arrived, but after that, Aerianne Hawke quickly kept her distance, for understandable reasons. Although they were all here fighting on behalf of the Inquisition and knew each other, their past was a little complicated to say the least.

He and Hawke had been at Kirkwall for around the same time. During that time, Aerianne was considered a voice for the struggling people of the city. A Fereldan refugee who climbed up to not only being a noble, but Champion of Kirkwall. For Cullen, he was the knight-captain of the city, second-in-command to Meredith. After everything that happened in Kinloch Hold, and the influence of his new commander, the issues with blood magic and apostates in the city gave him a new purpose.

Needless to say, Hawke’s opinions and his own clashed. Often. It was hard to forget the heated arguments he would have with the rogue in his office about the best way to deal with the mage plight. Despite all that, they still managed to work together fairly well, and bring down a lot of problems that plagued the city. Yes, she was a thorn in his side, but he’d be lying if she didn’t do her best to try and make Kirkwall a better place.

But in her last year of living in Kirkwall everything changed. Anders, the Chantry, Meredith, Fenris… it was not easy. It was no surprise that she went missing shortly after. Well, not missing. She intentionally disappeared.  

“There aren’t any apostates in here, if that’s what you’re looking for,” she leaned on the doorframe, placing a hand on her hips.

“That’s- that is, well not- I mean-,”  

“I’m joking, Cullen,” she said, a small smile on her face, though he didn’t find it quite as charming.

“Well, I see your poor attempts at humor haven’t changed one bit,” he crossed his arms.

“And I see you still have absolutely no sense of humor whatsoever,” she replied, crossing her arms as well.

Cullen rubbed his temple. Maker, he didn’t really have time to be thinking of clever retorts against this woman, especially since she always had to have the last word. He came here for an actual reason. “Again, it was a mistake. Won’t happen again,”

“Oh, no. You were right. I take it you were looking for an annoyingly giggly, young couple. They took a bit of a fright when they saw this room was occupied. Can’t say I know where they went off to though,”  

With the repairs still being made, there were still plenty of unoccupied rooms in Skyhold. He supposed he could just knock on every single door, but that seemed both counterproductive and embarrassing by this point. He let out a sigh. “Thank you, anyway, Hawke. I’ll deal with the matter later. I’ll leave you to your work. I imagine you’re busy with more important matters,”

“Not particularly,” Aerianne said with a shrug. “My meetings with Leliana and the Inquisitor aren’t until the afternoon. I was considering exploring this grand fortress, but I believe Varric also has some actual work to do this morning,”

“Ah. Is that so?”

There was a pause.

“… Meaning that if you are also free-”

“Right,” he stammered, looking a little embarrassed. “I have some time before performing drills with some of the new recruits. If you would like a tour and... catch up I suppose,”

 “I suppose,” she repeated with a soft chuckle, as she made her way past the doorframe and closed the door behind her.   

“Maker, you’re not going to try and pester me the whole way through, are you?”

“Only if you give me reason to,” the former Champion said in a very matter of fact matter as she started to walk alongside the Commander. “And you’re not going to lecture me about work are you?”

“Only if you give me reason to,” he responded.

It was hard to believe it had already been over four years since he had seen the Champion of Kirkwall. As they walked, he glanced over her a bit more. She hadn’t really changed all that much since that time. Perhaps a little more tired, but with good reason of course. Probably not best to comment on that. But what could he talk about? Maker, he hated coming up with small talk.

“You cut your hair,” he finally decided on. “Not that it looks bad. Just… different. Suits you,” This was already torturous for him.

“Yours is different as well,” she answered, her violet eyes looking up at him. “Do you style it?”

“I… may do a few things to it in the morning, yes,”

“Knight-captain Cullen keeping up appearances. It suits you as well,” she continued with a bit of an awkward laugh. “Sorry, _Commander_. That’ll take some getting used to. Also, not in a bad way,”

“Right. Yes,” he replied, scratching the back of his neck a bit.

The two fell silent again as they continued to walk down the battlements. Sort of glancing around, clearly trying to think of something to say, but it not coming out.

“This is weird, isn’t it?”  she finally spoke again. “I know I said you should show me around, but this is clearly awkward,”

“Oh thank Andraste- yes, this is incredibly awkward,” Cullen finally let out a sigh of relief. “Why did you think this was a good idea?”

“I thought it would be impolite not to offer! You _were_ just standing there,” she then lowered her voice to a mumble. “I also thought you would refuse,”

“You asked me, assuming I would say no?”

“Well, based on previous responses you’ve given me, yes. That is what I assumed,” she rolled her eyes a bit. “Don’t give me that look! Unless I included the words ‘might be doing blood magic’, or ‘my mother made that stew you like’, you have never said yes to any of my invitations,”

“That can’t be true,” he retorted. But he couldn’t exactly think of any examples to counter with, but surely he said yes to some things.

“I just can’t think of it right now, but I know for certain that I didn’t refuse every one of your invitations,”

“Ah yes. Because accepting one out of thirty invitations really makes a difference,”

“Well, now you’re just being over-dramatic,”

The two looked at each other irritably for a brief moment, until they finally just relaxed and started laughing. Even after all this time, it didn’t take much for them to bicker about something. Were they really this petty?    

“Old habits die hard, don’t they?” Aerianne said leaning over the battlements, looking out at the mountains that surrounded the fortress. Cullen decided to stand behind her, looking out as well.

“I’m glad you’re alive,” he finally said. “I was worried about you after you left Kirkwall,”

“I… couldn’t stay,” she said, letting out a long sigh, closing her eyes. It was clear that she had so much that she wanted to say, but just couldn’t. Not yet.

 “Sorry. I didn’t mean to-,”

“It’s fine. I mean, it’s expected to come up, isn’t it?” Aerianne opened her eyes again and smiled. “Four years is a long time. I’ve been keeping busy, though.  It’s funny how supporting a mage rebellion and nearly dying from a crazed, red lyrium templar really opens up a lot of opportunities for you. Not the most ideal ones, but you know, I can’t be picky,”

“Never a dull moment, I imagine,”  

“It kept me busy to say the least. Nothing like a commander of the Inquisition though,” she said, looking up at him.

“Well, you were up for position of the Inquisitor, if I recall. You know, for a brief moment,” 

 Aerianne just shook her head and laughed. “I think you made a better choice with Trevelyan. Trust me. I could lead a small band of misfits across a city. Not control an entire army and gain political power,” the Champion didn’t know Reagan too well, but she could tell that he was more than capable. He managed to avoid death more than a couple of times, and seems to surprisingly calm under all the pressure. Reagan even managed to rally the remaining templars to fight against Corypheus.

Which got her back to thinking again. Well, really it had been on her mind since she had arrived and learned about the Inquisitor and who was in his company. Specifically Cullen. 

“You’re okay with the decision? He… is a mage after all,”

Cullen could feel his body stiffen again. It wasn’t unusual for people to ask about his stance on mages. He was an ex-templar after all, and he had no problems with answering it. Cassandra had asked him, as did Trevelyan. Even Vivienne did. But with Hawke, it was different. A different time, a different history, a different meaning.

“Yes,” he finally said. “It’s fine,”

“That’s… surprising,” Hawke replied, raising her eyebrows a bit.

The commander rubbed the back of his neck, letting out a long sigh.  “A lot changed after the events at Kirkwall. Gave me some things to think about,”

“Well, I’m glad,” she said with a bit of a smile, bumping him slightly with her hip.

“Approval from the Champion,” he said with a soft chuckle. “I don’t know whether that’s a good or bad thing,”

“To be honest, I’m not sure either,”

It was then that they heard hushed giggling. You know, the type that you would hear from a couple of young lovers, whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears. The kind that happens when you _might_ be avoiding doing certain duties. And the kind that will get you in trouble with one of your superiors. Just maybe.

Aerianne looked up, just to confirm her assumptions. Sure enough, she could see Cullen’s nostrils flare as he glared up at the tower, where the giggling was coming from. Honestly, the glare was so strong that she half-expected for the building itself to burst into flames. It was a Rutherford classic. Aerianne saw this look whenever he either had 5 stacks of paperwork upon his desk, or had to reprimand one of his men. Or you know… looking at her. For the countless of times she may have stuck her nose into affairs that weren’t her own, or handed him poorly written reports. Had he not become a templar, he would’ve certainly made a great headmaster at an academy.

“Right then,” she said, standing up straight and stretching out her arms. “I know that look, and that’s my cue to leave before I also get an earful about how I fill out my paperwork,”

 Cullen let out a disgruntled noise. “If I don’t call out this behaviour then-”

“I know, I know,” she said with a laugh. “If you don’t, then he’s just going to keep doing it and try to get away with more. Just don’t burn a hole through his head in the process, alright?”

Another grumble could be heard from the Cullen, which she took as a strained yes. She gave him a pat on the shoulder.

“Always a good talk, Captain… _Commander_ ,” she corrected herself. “Let’s do it again sometime. Maybe over drinks or something,”

“Is this a real invitation, or one of those ones where you are expecting me to say no?” he said, crossing his arms once more, but it seemed that she was already off on her way in the opposite direction.  

“Later, Commander!”  she called out to him as she ran down the ramparts.  

“That’s not an answer!” he called back, but by that point, she was already long gone.

So Hawke was back. As for what came next with her around, only the Maker himself could know.


	2. Breakfast and Gossip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aerianne catches up with her best friend before he sets off on official Inquisition business.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, not really a Cullen/Hawke chapter in the least, but I figured I'd throw in some good 'ol Varric/Hawke friendship before the two lovebirds have time more time together.

“And then here we were, a wagon of nugs between us and at least fifty mercenaries. I honestly have no idea how we managed to convince them that this was the cargo they were looking for you, but as you can see, I managed to live and tell the tale,”

“Andraste’s tits, Hawke. Why did I ever think that you would’ve kept a lower profile after all this time?” Varric grinned as he took a bite from his croissant. “Glad to see that you and Isabela have patched things up though,”

“You and I both,” Aerianne responded with a soft smile. “She’s been helping me a lot. In her own way, anyway. Kind enough to keep an eye on Bethany for me until we solve this issue with the Grey Wardens,” Which might take a bit longer than planned. Not only have the issues in Crestwood escalated, but it seemed as though Orlais was plagued with civil war and those who wish to take advantage of it. The Inquisition certainly seemed to have more than enough on their plate. She did admit that the idea of staying in Skyhold for an extended period of time made her feel a little anxious. It had been awhile since she’s had a place that felt ‘permanent’.

“Ugh, that reminds me, I should probably get going,” the dwarf replied, finishing the last of his breakfast. It was usually the only time they had a chance to catch up before they went to their respective duties. “As great as it to just kick back like we did back in the day, I do have official Inquisition business to attend to. Can’t leave the team waiting,”

“I’m surprised that you volunteered to go to the Hissing Wastes,” Aerianne said, placing her chin on her palm. “It’s so very away… from everything,” Varric wasn’t a pampered noble by any means, but he was a city boy through and through. She still remembered the list of complaints he had about the deep roads. Weird smell, no sky, too many darkspawn, too many cursed things. You know how it is.

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” he groaned. “I can already feel myself sprouting a beard. But the Inquisitor and Seeker have been making more googly eyes at each other than usual. I don’t want to miss anything good. Iron Bull never gives me the important details,”

“Seeker Cassandra and the Inquisitor, huh?” she said, looking a little surprised. “Are you sure? Them?” Not that she wouldn’t be happy for them. Cassandra just didn’t seem to be the type to be charmed by someone like Trevelyan. He was a competent leader and a nice fellow, but also a little immature, and incredibly cheesy. Cassandra was just so powerful and brash, she would’ve fancied someone more like Blackwall or Cullen.

Then again, Aerianne shouldn’t be the one to comment on unlikely couples.

Varric grinned confidently. “Hawke, as an author of many romance novels-”

“A trashy smut series that no one reads,”

“A trashy smut series that _one_ person reads,” he corrected. “You could say that I just have an innate ability to pick up an attraction between two individuals,”

“You didn’t know I had a crush on you until I drunkenly confessed to you one night,”

“Be it as it may,” he said, lifting his hand to dismiss her criticisms. “There is something very clearly going on between them, and Maker’s balls if I’m gonna miss out on the possibility of seeing a blushing Cassandra,”

Aerianne laughed a bit. He always did love getting into the love affairs of other people. Had to know all the little details, despite keeping his own very guarded. Perhaps that’s what made him such a great writer. “Alright, I understand, you gossipy dwarf. Just be careful out there,”

“I’m always careful. That’s what Bianca’s for,” he said, patting the crossbow that was on his back.

“Take care of yourself too, okay Hawke?” he said, crossing his arms, looking a little more serious.

“I’m staying in Skyhold for the most part,” she said, finishing off some cheese. “Unless Corypheus decides to drop by while you’re out,”

“You know that’s not what I mean,”

“Varric-”

“ _Aerianne_ ,” he said, giving her another concerned look. Varric rarely used her first name, unless he wanted to get the message across. She winced a bit and let out a sigh. She almost felt like a child being scolded by their parent. Of course she knew what he meant. 

“Mother Giselle makes it a point to knock on my door when you’re not around,” she finally said. The chantry woman would always come around at the most unexpected of times. At first, Aerianne thought that Giselle was trying to convince her to reconnect with faith, but more often at not, it was just for ‘small chats’. She didn’t know how else to describe it.

“I promise you don’t have to worry about me,”

Varric shoulders relaxed, allowing his usual grin to appear on his face again. “Drinks when I get back? We should try out one of those bottles that the Inquisitor keeps finding,”

“You know my policy on drinking from mysterious bottles found in the middle of nowhere, Varric,”  

“Bah, you’re no fun,”


	3. Kitchen Opinions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How do the kitchen staff at Skyhold feel about Cullen Rutherford? Hawke is quick to find out that his reputation in the Inquisition is quite different than back in Kirkwall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a much longer chapter, but as you can see, I've spit it into two, just because it felt like I had too much going on at once (A bit like my 'A Challenge' chapter in Slight Disapproval. I should've spit that). 
> 
> Anyway, this was sort of inspired by how everyone at the Winter's Ball was enamoured with Cullen. I always assumed that Orlais weren't the only ones infatuated with the handsome Commander of the Inquisition. As you've probably guessed by now, I rarely right anything serious, and if I do, it doesn't stay that way for long. So I hope you can deal with terrible jokes before getting to cutesy fluff~

Aerianne grumbled slightly as she heard noise coming from outside her room. It was chatter of several voices, and it had been going on for quite some time now. Normally, one could pass it off as mere coincidence; someone not realizing how loud they were speaking. But the rogue was no fool. She knew who one of her “neighbours” were in the garden.

“Ah, Serah Hawke,” an older woman said with a calm smile on her face as Aerianne finally opened the door. A small group of women from the chantry, seemingly parked just outside her door.

“Mere Giselle,” the rogue said politely. “Good morning,”

“I hope we weren’t being too loud,” the chantry mother apologized.

“It’s fine,” It’s not as though Aerianne was really sleeping anyway. By this point, she had gotten used to these ‘disturbances’ outside her door. 

“The soeurs and I were just about to leave, but we got caught up in admiring the view. The garden is coming along nicely, isn’t it?”

“I’m sure it will be absolutely lovely when it’s completed,” Aerianne answered.

“Well, now that you’re up, have you had, yet breakfast?” Mother Giselle asked, her smile still beaming. “I believe the kitchen is still serving,”

The Champion sighed a bit as she closed the door, but there was a slight smile on her face.

“Will do,”

* * *

 

There was something about kitchen at Skyhold that was reminiscent of some of Kirkwall shops in the square. The air was heavy with the smell of baked bread and sizzling meat as well as the chatter of gossip between the staff. There was also something surprisingly calming about it. Although the Champion could have easily gotten her meals served to her at her room, she was much more comfortable with just going there herself. The staff had found it a little odd at first, considering her notoriety, but they eventually just sort of accepted it. Besides, there had been stranger individuals who had made their way in before. Though they couldn’t recall the face or name of the person.    

Aerianne quietly slipped in and noticed that a plate of bread, eggs, cheese and small assortment of fruits had already been made for her.

“Oh, Champion! Mother Giselle said that you would be stopping by,” one of the woman said cheerily.

“Did she now?” the rogue mused. She wasn’t upset for someone looking out for her. Aerianne just didn’t know why the chantry mother was invested in her wellbeing specifically. She may have been a little distant at times, but she was functioning. It wasn’t anything that she couldn’t handle. 

Or maybe Mother Giselle just did this with everyone. The Champion didn’t want to think about it too much.

“Well thank you,” she said, grabbing the plate. It was then that she realized that there was another meal set out, in a similar fashion.

“Oh, that’s the Commander’s,” another younger woman with red hair said, blushing slightly. “Normally we go up to serve it to him, but he requested that we set something aside and he would pick it up when he had the time. It seems like he’s just been very busy with work. The less disturbances the better,”

“That sounds like him,” Aerianne replied absentmindedly, popping a slice of apple in her mouth, leaning against the side of the counter. Always working tirelessly, to the point where he might push himself a bit too hard.  

“O-Oh! Do you know the Commander well?” the girl’s eyes lit up with excitement.

Aerianne swallowed the piece of apple, slowly. Her own violet eyes then looked at the young woman as well as the rest of the staff who all also suddenly seemed very interested in her.

 “…We worked together a bit in Kirkwall,” Begrudgingly. And they probably worked against each other even more. But that was a small detail.    

The staff then suddenly burst out into some sort of unified, romantic swoon that made the rogue stumble back a bit. What was going on now?  

“What’s he really like?” another woman said, her eyes beaming. “He always seems so reserved and gentlemanly. Like the knights you read about in novels who sweep you off your feet,”

“And he’s just so… _broody_ ,” the red-head let out a romantic sigh as she pressed her hands to her cheeks.

Aerianne just stared at them with baffled confusion.  

Gentlemanly?

Broody?

_Sweep awoman off her feet?_   

“He’s… very dedicated to his job,” Aerianne said, trying to hold back a laugh. “A bit shy, if I remember correctly,” Nicer than saying ‘completely incapable of holding a conversation with a pretty girl’.

The swooning and chatter increased amongst them. Lots of excited statements about it making so much sense, and that made him even more desirable. Honestly, Aerianne shouldn’t judge. She herself was once a giddy, blushing young woman, completely head-over-heels with the love-of-her-life once.

But still. This was Cullen.

“How about I take this up to him,” she said, grabbing the other plate of food and balancing both of them in her left hand. “I can deal with his irritation for disturbing him. And we can’t have _your_ Commander starving,” she could almost hear one of the women squeal slightly.  It was like he had a bloody harem. How. Why.

Before the Champion left the room, it was then that she noticed a piece of parchment, and on it was a list that included several names scribbled in ink.

_Skyhold’s Most Eligible Bachelors_

  1. _The Iron Bull_
  2. _Commander Cullen Rutherford._
  3. _Blackwall_



 

Absolutely baffling.


	4. Fifteen Minutes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hardest working Commander needs to take a break at some point. Whether he likes it or not.

Aerianne had never actually been to the Commander’s office before. Usually she would just meet him in the War Council Room, or bump into him on battlements. Yet, there was something strangely nostalgic about going there now. She remembered his office back in the Gallows, where she would often try to gather information or drop off a strongly-worded complaint that he would never ever reply to.

The rogue knocked on the door three times, and heard the familiar grumblings of the ex-templar. She then shook her head and rolled her eyes a bit as she opened the door. Sure enough, it was what she expected from the Commander; dimly lit room with a giant desk piled with maps reports. Oh, there was a few book cases as well. Filled with books… and more reports. There also seemed to be a ladder of some sort that lead to a second floor, that she could only assume lead to more reports.

“How does one man have so much paperwork…” she muttered, mainly to herself, but it seemed that it was just loud enough to finally catch Cullen’s attention as he lifted his head up from whatever he was reading.

“Hawke,” he said, a flatly, with the same tone he used to use when they were still in Kirkwall. “Can this wait a bit? I’m a little busy,”

“You? Busy? Maker, I’ve _never_ seen that before,” she replied, walking approaching his desk and setting his plate down on one of the stacks of reports.

“What’s this?” Cullen asked, looking at both the food and her suspiciously.

“It’s your breakfast,” she said. “Before you say anything, I assure you I didn’t make it or lace it with anything. You apparently forgot to pick it up from the kitchen earlier,”

“Ah, that’s right,” he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. Although the commander always looked as though he was perpetually tired and irritated, he did seem even more exhausted than usual. His brown eyes had circles of darkness around them, and he looked a little more unshaven than he normally did. She could very much relate to the look, but she wouldn’t push it.

“Eat,” Aerianne insisted.   

Cullen’s nostrils flared a bit, but he reluctantly took a piece of bread off his plate and bit into it as he continued to sign documents with his free hand.

“Did they also tell you that I would appreciate not being disturbed?”

“Their first mistake,” she tossed a piece of cheese into her mouth.  

“How foolish me to think that you would actually listen this time,” he replied wryly and motioned for her to grab a seat. “Fifteen minutes. After that, I have to head to the courtyard to train the new recruits,”

Aerianne gave a thumbs-up as she sat down across from him, continuing to eat her own breakfast.

“I suppose it’s been awhile since we’ve spoken outside the war room. How have you been adjusting to Skyhold?” he asked, finally putting his pen down.

“Everyone has been surprisingly courteous. Even the templars,” In all honesty, she expected a less than friendly reception. Her pro-mage stance and ties to Anders didn’t make her the most popular of ‘heroes’, especially in Orlais. But they were supportive of the work she tried to do in Kirkwall, and her fight against red-lyrium. Or maybe they were just being nice because that’s what the Inquisitor told them.

Regardless, things were surprisingly peaceful here. Yes, they were preparing for war and battle, but there were so many other things going on as well. Children running about, evening get togethers, romance, pointless gossip. It was still up in the air to how long she intended to stay in the large fortress, but for now, it was pleasant.

“I’m glad to hear,” Cullen nodded approvingly. “In all honesty, I was a little worried, with Varric being away,”

“Worried, how?” she looked at him suspiciously. “Worried that I’m not capable of taking care of myself, or worried that something might blow up?”

The commander realized just how his statement must’ve sounded. He’s really not particularly tactful when it came to speaking with her. H winced a bit. “What I meant that, it’s been years since you’ve seen him and now you’re left alone in an organization that was partly…”

“In charge of hunting me down?” she finished his sentence. The ex-templar coughed a bit, clearly feeling a little awkward about it. She smiled with a shrug. “It would not be the weirdest thing to happen to me,” And if history would have it, it wouldn’t be the last time either.

“Are you… sure you’re okay, Hawke?”

“Are you?”

A long sigh left the blonde commander. Just like when he first bumped into Aerianne, it was clear that he had a lot to say, but wasn’t quite ready to share.

“Let’s change the topic to something more relaxing, shall we?” she said, putting a soft smile on her face. “Are you aware that you’re the second most eligible bachelor in Skyhold?”

Cullen coughed, nearly choking on his food. This was a relaxing topic? “Pardon?”

“Iron Bull is first. Understandably so, I might add,” After a few drinks with him and his crew at Herald’s Rest, she got an idea as to what kind of person he was. He was certainly interesting and… experience. Aerianne would be lying if she didn’t at least consider his proposition.

“There’s a list in the kitchen. I hope the Inquisitor hasn’t seen it. He would be quite devastated by his current ranking. Varric is doing well though. Probably the chest hair as usual,”

“Maker’s Breath, Hawke. Is that why you were in the kitchen? To catch up on idle gossip? This is what you do in your free time?” his tired face slowly turned to embarrassment, his cheeks now flushed with a shade of red. 

“It wasn’t intentional! The gossip just came with the meal. They _really_ like you down there. I suppose you have this whole ‘seasoned veteran’ thing going on now,” A broody soldier... she supposed she could sort of see how his grumpiness could be mistaken for brooding. Not to mention, he was never a bad-looking fellow by any means. Quite the opposite. Aerianne wasn’t blind after all. But now he had finally moved from a sort of boyish charm to ruggedly handsome. A stern face. Or at least it would be, if he wasn’t trying to hide his obvious embarrassment.

She couldn’t help but grin as she saw Cullen grow increasingly uncomfortable. “You’re beet red, Cullen! You really didn’t know? I haven’t seen a giddier bunch of women since in a long time,” The last time she could recall was when she visited Sebastien when he was still a part of the Kirkwall chantry. They handsome Starkhaven prince could have easily made his own cult.

“It’s not something that particularly think about, no,” the commander scratched the back of his neck, and tried to avoid eye contact with the rogue. “Can we change the topic again? _Please_?”

“I’m sorry,” she laughed. “Old habits and all that. I couldn’t resist,”

 “You take far too much pleasure in my discomfort,” he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.  

“Oh, don’t act like you haven’t done the same to me,” she waved her hand dismissively. “You’d always get this pompous, satisfied grin on your face when you thought you had the upper hand,”

“Well, you’ve certainly got me there,” she certainly wasn’t wrong about that.

“Besides, I meant it as a compliment,” she said, finishing the last of her meal. “Good for you, going from blushing around girls to being the one that women blush over,”

The commander groaned at her poor attempt at wordplay. She really wasn’t as funny as she thought she was. Why was this such interesting information to her anyway? Surely she had better things to sniff out than what the girls in the kitchen were on about.

“You are absolutely no fun. I thought that was a good one,” she responded, sticking out her tongue as she stood up.    

“My dullness has finally forced you to leave, has it?”  

“As much as I’d love to continue pestering you, _Commander_ , it’s been fifteen minutes,”

“That it is,” he said, letting out a bit of a sigh as he stood up as well. He had been at this desk for far too long, it would be good to get up and moving again in the courtyard. “Thank you again for breakfast. Are you… always up at this time?”     

“No. And when I am, I’m usually having breakfast with Varric if he’s around,”  

“Ah, right of course,” that would make sense. He then opened the door, allowing for the rogue to exit first. “I suppose I’ll see you for the next council meeting then?”

“Yeah, I suppose so,” Aerianne replied walking past him, but then paused.

“Or,” she turned back around, trucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I’m usually free for lunch. If you’re ever interested. A real invitation this time,”

Cullen looked surprised for a moment, but eventually, the edges of his lips curved upwards into a soft smile.

“…I’d like that,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very dialogue heavy. I was talking to a friend about how I find it difficult to write Cullen just because I feel like I need to be able to balance his shyness, sternness, stress, and kindness. It's also what makes Cassandra challenging. 
> 
> And for anyone curious, I played my Hawke as diplomatic, but every now and then, I'd choose the sarcastic Hawke, and she'd always say the wrong thing at the most inappropriate times. And thus, this is how I write her; always trying to say the right thing, but with a tendency to also flub up now and then.


	5. Flexibility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Aerianne has settled into Skyhold life, Cullen asks her if she could help out training with the new recruits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chance to write two of the most typical tropes in romance, but also two of my most favorites. Forgive the terrible innuendos, I should be thrown in the trash. 
> 
> I've also never really written proper fighting before, so sorry if it's a little too quick or weird in places!

**Chapter 5: Flexibility**

As the weeks went on, Aerianne slowly started finding her place in the Inquisition, making herself of use. Leliana needed an extra pair of eyes, she would take on a few missions that would last a few days, see if they couldn’t convince some unsure apostates to join their cause instead of Corypheus. The Champion, after all, was still considered an ally to many mages, someone who’s opinion they could trust. With the Inquisitor being a mage, and the Champion offering her support, it at least shook some of their support of the magister darkspawn.  

In addition to fieldwork, it came to a bit of a surprise when Cullen had requested to help-out with training some of the recruits.  

“Spending _more_ time working with me? That doesn’t sound like one of your ideas. If anything, it sounds a Rutherford Nightmare,” Aerianne joked, sitting on the side of his desk as she passed him a plate filled with today’s lunch, a routine that was becoming more and more common as of late.

Cullen rolled his eyes. “Leliana suggested it after reading your reports in the field. My men have lots of experience with dealing with magic now, and facing opponents larger than them. They’ve yet to really go up against someone who’s smaller and faster than them. Who can strike without warning,”

“I suppose I can lend a hand,” she said with a bit of a shrug. “Let’s see… oh! Recruits, if you ever want to beat Commander Cullen, just get a pretty lass to tell him how handsome he is. Just do the same to Corypheus, and it’ll be fine,”     

She then let out a slight yelp as she felt a firm hand push her off the side of the desk by Cullen himself. His little way of retaliation.

 

* * *

 

The first morning Aerianne arrived, Cullen and the recruits were already warming up. It brought her back to her time in Ostagar; all morning drills, the loud counting, trying to make sure no one caught you doing less push-ups than the others, getting called out by your commanding officer because of the lack of push-ups. Being a soldier wasn’t exactly her first choice in occupation, but it supported them when her father had passed, and their mother could feel a little more assured that Carver wasn’t on his own out there. And she had to admit, it set her up for her future from then on.

“Hawke, good morning,” Cullen nodded as the rogue approached him. “We’re just finishing up with a few warm-ups and we’ll jump right into some practice. I was thinking we can start with some demonstrations with you and the lieutenant. Some of Leliana’s spies will also be lending their support as adversaries. Oh, and The Iron Bull will be joining us as well a bit later on. Apparently he’s curious to see you in action, considering you did take down the Arishok,”  

“I hope I don’t disappoint then,” she said with a slight yawn. “Maker, watching them is already making me tired,”

“You don’t want to join in now then? Do a few push-ups yourself? Get the blood flowing,”

The Champion let out a disgusted noise which made Cullen chuckle softly. That a good enough answer.

“Alright then. Recruits! Fall in!” he called out and they quickly stopped what they were doing and fell into their lines and rows. “We have a few special guests today, so let’s make the most of it!”   

Despite her aversion to mourning drills, Aerianne was more than engaged in the actual training session. She took a softer, jokier tone than Cullen usually would, but it was still very effective. She went through and explained different maneuvers that they may encounter, and what strategies they could use. Once hey were all set, it was then that they broke off into groups and the actual sparing started.

Cullen had to admit, it was quite impressive, watching Aerianne in action. It had been awhile, and she was still as skilled as ever, maybe even more so. She may have been jokey and always trying to get on his nerves, but she was serious when it really counted.

“She’s got nice form,” Cullen heard and turned his head to see that The Iron Bull had finally made it and was also quite involved in the matches around them. “She’s not afraid to get in there and do what has to be done, but then she creates the distance that she needs to be safe. Not bad. Not bad at all,”  

“She is the Champion after all. Hawke has a lot of experience fighting. She keeps herself nimble and fast,”

“Not to mention _flexible_ ,” the qunari added as Aerianne managed to slide between one of the recruit’s legs and taking him down from behind.

Cullen. “That she is. I once saw her wrap her leg around the head of a bandit and slam him to the ground while sitting on a chair,” No doubt a move she learned by Isabela. It quite practical, to say the least.

“Does she show off that flexibility in your office from time to time?” Bull grinned. “You’ve been looking a lot less stressed lately. Less ill-tempered. It’s a good look,”

“I… what?” it then dawned on Cullen what the qunari mercenary was implying and he immediately felt his face get hot. “No of course not! Our relationship has always strictly been work-related. Acquaintances a most. I would never think of her like that. She’s the Champion,”

“Uh huh,” Bull crossed his arms, smirking. “You know the only people who say ‘I would never think like that’ are the ones that think about it all the time,”

Cullen muttered a few curses other his breath. Maybe he had thought about it a few times, but who hadn’t? Just look at her; she had these remarkable long legs, and her violet eyes were absolutely mesmerizing. Not to mention her sharp lips, that always seemed to have this certain…

Okay no. Stop looking. Stop thinking.

“Nothing is going on. We have lunch on occasion. That’s it,”   

“That’s it? No nights between the sheets? Once? Not even back in Kirkwall?”

“She was… taken then,” he said sternly, crossing his arms.   

“Ah, so it’s unresolved sexual tension that I’m getting off you right now,”

“That’s not it at all! We barely got along back then. I once had a warrant for her arrest,” Why was he telling him all this? It was none of Bull’s business, but there was a part of Cullen that just wanted to defend himself.

“Meh. I had a woman stab me in the stomach after we had sex. Turns out she was trying to collect a bounty on my head. Still, really hot,”

Cullen closed his eyes and massaged his brow. He really didn’t want to be having a conversation like this, right now, let alone with The Iron Bull of all people.

“Bull!” Aerianne called out as she ran towards the two men looking very energetic than she did earlier. “Up for the next match? I want to see if I could fight a qunari without having to resort to running around in a circle,” A classic rogue vs. Arishok tactic.

“Oh, trust me, I’m looking forward to it, but I think Cullen said he wanted next match,” Bull replied, pushing the commander towards Aerianne with his large hands with ease. The only one in the entire Inquisition who was physically capable. Other than Cassandra, perhaps. “He was telling me he never sparred against you before and always wanted to. Probably thinks about it all the before he goes to bed,”

Cullen wanted to kill him. Right here, right now.  

“I bet he does. I’ve caused him enough trouble to make him want to draw his blade on me,” Aerianne laughed which only made Cullen more embarrassed. He couldn’t even take her phrasing normally anymore.

Either way, Cullen found himself on the field, facing across from Aerianne. Andraste’s Grace, why did it have to come to this? He just wanted to have a practical training session with his men. Real preparation for Corypheus’ spies. Not some weird fantasy that the damned qunari put into his head. Could he stab Bull? Would the Inquisitor mind terribly?

“Commander, are you ready?” she said with a smirk, twirling a dagger in her right hand. “To lose of course. Don’t worry, I assure you I won’t completely embarrass you in front of your recruits,”

Much to his relief, her arrogance did calm his nerves a bit. It was much easier to focus on fighting an antagonistic Hawke. Nothing was more satisfying than making her eat her words.

The match started quickly, with Aerianne almost immediately trying to get behind the Commander, knowing all to well that it would be dangerous to attack him head on. But Cullen was quick to maneuver, quickly lifting his broad sword to block her strikes. It was as he expected. She was smaller and nimble, which made her much harder to hit. Cullen would go to swing his weapon, but she was already either out of range, or slipping by his legs or around his sides. It was dizzying. A smart tactic, to say the least.

“Keep up, Commander!” he could hear her chastise him.

“I’m barely breaking a sweat, Hawke. Give me something to work for,” he shot back.

“Oh, is that so?”

To his surprise, Aerianne charged right down the center, far faster than he was expecting and slipping right past his broadsword. Cullen just had enough time to pull out his smaller dagger from under his mante before Aerianne scooped his leg behind one of hers, tripping him. But he wasn’t going to go down alone, for he quickly wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her down with him.

He really had wished that Bull hadn’t filled his head with all that drabble. Just seeing her face just above his, red-faced from the fight, and her hair a mess, ... it was so tempting. He swallowed hard. Maker preserve him, he wanted to devour those smirking lips of hers. But he just couldn’t. 

“Looks like it’s a draw, Commander,” she said a little breathlessly. Cullen felt the edge of her dagger touching the back of his neck while his own knife was aimed at her side. She then pushed herself off him and stood up, patting down the lower half of her tunic.

“Now that’s a fight,” Bull cheered, as he clapped his hands. “Not too bad. Not too bad at all,”   

“Does that mean you’re actually ready for a match, Bull?” she said turning towards the large qunari, a confident grin on her face. “Or are you still too scared to face me?”

“Ha! Scared is quite the opposite. If anything, you’ve got me all hot and bothered with that leg thing you keep doing,”

“Oh~? Then maybe I’ll show you how to do it sometime when we have some down time. Drinks tonight?”

“I like the way you think, Aerie. My kind of girl,”

Cullen didn’t understand how it came so naturally to Bull. He could make any sort of off-handed flirtatious comment with no shame or embarrassment. Not to delve too much into pointless kitchen gossip, but was this what made Iron Bull first? He was already giving Hawke a cute nickname and she was flirting right back. How did he do it?

Cullen eventually just let out a long sigh and slowly got up as well, sheathing his sword. It was then that he felt playful punch on his shoulder, snapping him back to reality.  

 “And you, Cullen Rutherford, are all full of surprises,” Aerianne grin was beaming, something that he hadn’t seen in quite some time. It made his head spin as much as she did just moments ago.

“Am I?” he said, trying to behave as normally as he could.

“For a man who wears probably thirty pounds of armour, you move very quickly,” she nodded approvingly. “Oh, but I so wanted to beat you,”

“It was a good match. It’s been awhile since I’ve had one like it,” Well, you know. Nothing was quite like this one, if he was being honest.

“You’re going to join us tonight as well, right?”  she said, adjusting her hair so that it was out of her face again. “For drinks that is,”

“Oh um, I’m not really sure,” Cullen said. “I have a few things I need to take care of. I’ll think about it though,” Maker’s Breath, why couldn’t he just commit to an answer?

“Well, the offer is open, regardless,” she said with one last pat as the commander made his way off the field, making his way towards the sidelines.

As Cullen passed by The Iron Bull, he could feel the qunari’s hand grab his shoulder and lean in.  

“You should join us, tonight. If you’re lucky, maybe she’ll try that leg around the head thing you mentioned,”  

“Just go and get your ass beat, Bull,”

“Ha-ha! Sure thing, Commander,”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always figured, if anyone was going to catch on any sexual tension between two people, it would be Iron Bull. I feel like him and Varric are the type of guys who are just really good (or really terrible???) wingmen. And if they were going to help anyone in Skyhold, it would be Cullen, that poor, love-stunted dork. 
> 
> I didn't give Aerianne's insight into the sparring match this time around, but I assure you, it'll be coming. ;D


	6. A Scowl and a Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look back into the earlier years of Kirkwall, when an idealistic Hawke tries her best to pry some information out of the stern knight-captain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for a little flashback (as I work on other chapters)~ I wanted to sort of establish the sort of dynamic Hawke and Cullen had back when before things started getting more serious in Kirkwall. Apologies again if my writing is sort of everywhere! (I try to sort of write and post as soon as possible as I know I'll just leave stuff sitting there forever if I don't).

In her youth back in Lothering, Aerianne was never one to get to know templars. Just enough to know what their schedules were and what they looked like. That was the life being the sister and daughter of apostate mages. She cared about her family and wanted to protect them. Thankfully, it wasn’t that huge of a problem, considering the size of the village. They mostly just needed to keep to themselves whenever the templars came knocking. Her father was more than skilled enough to hide in plain sight, and gave Bethany enough tools to do the same. With Leandra, Carver, and Aerianne doing the rest, life was quite peaceful for them before the Blight.

Kirkwall was a bit of a different story. It was a large city, and the Order’s presence was unlike anything she could have imagined. They had almost as much power as the city guards did.  Avoiding them outright just wasn’t an option, so she had to be more creative in protecting Bethany. Oddly enough, this meant helping the templars with certain affairs. It was something she was hesitant to do at first, but she was quick to learn that, while the Order was strict, not all templars followed it as tightly as others.

There were those like Thrask and Keran, who were actually quite kind, and even showed understanding towards the mage plight. Unfortunately, they were much lower ranking than others in the Order, which often meant their hands were tied over certain affairs. Those who held much higher positions were not quite as sympathetic. Which meant that, more often than not, she had to deal with one of her least favorite templars.

“No,”

“What do you mean, _no_?”

“As I’ve said many times before, _Serah Hawke_ ,” the knight-captain said with clear annoyance in his voice, walking across the Gallow’s courtyard. “Your help was greatly appreciated when you helped saved Keran and took down the blood mages, but unless you have plans to up and join the Order, you really have no business being here. Let alone requesting confidential documents,”

Knight-Captain Cullen Rutherford. Young, strict, a tragic experience with mages in the past, and followed the knight-commander’s order to a T. If there was ever a poster-boy for the Order, it had to be him.

Aerianne let out a huff, trying to keep up with the knight-captain’s hurried walk. “I’m a concerned citizen, trying to protect our city,”

“Exactly. You’re a concerned _citizen._ Not a detective, not a noble, not a templar. A regular citizen. And if this is a city problem, then there are city guards for that. Don’t you have a friend that works for them? Bring it up with her,” 

“I did and that’s the whole point. You think that young boy caused all those fires, but I don’t think that’s the case. I’d love to take it up with the guard, but it’s a bit of a dead end if there there’s no proof. If you would just let me look at the reports-”

Cullen then stopped right in front of the door of his office and crossed his arms, his annoyance continuing to grow with the rogue. “Even if the apostate-”

“ _Young boy_ ,” she interrupted. “He’s a young boy who didn’t even know he had any magical abilities. You just can’t go calling everyone who’s a mage outside the circle an apostate,”

“That’s exactly what they- You’re missing the point. Even if he didn’t cause those fires, it’s now confirmed that he’s a mage. He belongs here in the Gallows. That’s the end of it,”

“But-”

“If you would kindly escort Serah Hawke back to the docks,” he said, motioning to a couple of nearby templars to her side, before retiring to his office. Aerianne bit the inside or her cheek, clearly wanting to say more, but just glaring at him instead as she reluctantly decided to walk off with the two men.   

Cullen went to sit down at his desk, letting out a long sigh. How was it that the biggest nuisance at present wasn’t even a dangerous Kirkwall apostate, but a nosy, opinionated Fereldan girl? This was not why he accepted this position.

It wasn’t moments after, he heard three knocks on the door. Before he could say anything, the door quickly swung open, and there was Aerianne Hawke again, a polite smile on her face, which made the knight-captain grit his teeth. She wasn’t going to back down yet.  

“Knight-Captain Rutherford, if you would just listen to what I have to say, I’d quite appreciate it,” her voice had an intentional sing-song sound to it. She may have spent a year in Kirkwall, working for a smuggler’s ring, but that didn’t mean all politeness had to be thrown out the window. “Please,”

“When I told you ‘the Order is in your debt’, I didn’t mean that you come around doing whatever you want, when you felt like it,” his brows furrowed in annoyance. “For a Fereldan peasant girl, you act a lot like a spoiled, Free March noble,”

“And for a Fereldan lad, you are exactly what I’d expect; stubborn, grumpy and incapable of treating a lovely lady as she deserves,” Okay, maybe a little bit insult, but still in a polite tone! Kind of. Plus, he started it.

Cullen scoffed. “ _Lovely_ is stretching it a bit, don’t you think?”   

“Look,” she said, sitting down on the wooden chair across from him. “This may be shocking to you, but that young boy does have a family who cares about him very much. They’re worried that your lot will treat him as a dangerous criminal, when he really is just a scared child. They’re not even sure if he actually caused the fires. He’d only been showing signs of using a bit of force magic at most when the fires started to happen,”

“And you think that there’s something more to this. That someone decided to put the blame on the apostate,”

“A _young boy_ ,” she corrected. “It wouldn’t be unusual. We both know that Kirkwall has more than its fair share of crime. It could be an arsonist, just grabbing an opportunity when it knocks. Or who knows… maybe it’s someone else with magic, trying to hide their tracks by leading you to other budding mages,”

It was that last little theory did seem to pique Cullen’s interest as she saw a slight twinkle in his eyes. After all, why catch one apostate when you could have two? Aerianne watched him carefully, trying to figure his expression as he stayed silent.

Eventually, a loud, annoyed sigh came out from the commander. “I will ask the enchanters about _the_ _boy’s_ abilities and compare it with the reports we found. If we find anything suspicious, we will inform the city-guard. And if it put’s the family’s mind at ease, I assure that we offer more leniency to children than we do to adults who do this sort of thing. Is that enough to get you to leave my office?”    

“I think so,” Aerianne was actually quite pleased. She at least had some positive news to give the family. They could worry a little less. She then stood up, and gave Cullen a polite bow, though really it came off more as cheeky than anything else.

“I trust you won’t be making a habit of this, Hawke?” he said, crossing his arms, looking at her sternly. It was clear he’d rather not have to deal with this woman constantly bursting into his office, disrupting whatever actual work he may have.

“Only if you give me reason to, Knight-Captain,”


	7. Five Straight Losses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's weird for Aerianne to see Cullen not working, but somehow, chess suits him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry in advance if there are more typos than usual. I just wanted to get this one out quickly!

“Alright then. With this, everything should be ready for your departure. Thank you again, Hawke,”

“Not a problem. If anything, I should be thanking you,” Aerianne replied, as she stood up.

Working with the Leliana had proven to be more than fruitful these past few weeks. Aerianne had done more than her fair share of smuggling and spying back in Kirkwall, so she was no beginner to this line of work. But the Inquisition’s spymaster was easily the most skilled ‘employers’ she had ever worked with. The way that Leliana not only managed to collect information, but use it to her advantage was truly a work of art. Varric wasn’t kidding when he said that he could take a break from his own network and just count on hers.

“Oh, if I could bother you for one more favor,” the spymaster placed some the documents they just looked over in a large envelope. “I hate to treat you as a messenger, but if you could give the report to the Inquisitor, that would do me a great help. Last I checked of his schedule, he should be in the gardens,”

“Not a problem. I was planning on heading there anyway,” Aerianne replied as she grabbed the envelope with a slight bow before heading down the spiralling staircase.

With the Hissing Wastes and Fallow Mire relatively stable, the preparations for Crestwood were finally underway. Honestly, was quite ready for it. She enjoyed her time in Skyhold for the most part. Even in preparation for war, there was a certain serenity within the walls. One could collect their thoughts without the constant threat of immediate danger, but she could feel herself starting to get antsy. Something telling her that she had to move on soon. She never really stayed anywhere for long, not since Kirkwall. The title of Champion came as both a blessing and a curse over the past few years. Very few saw her as just Aerianne Hawke, the person. For some, she was a symbol of freedom and change. Others considered her a bad omen, someone who ruined their lives and futures. Honestly, she often wondered the same.

In Skyhold, there was some relief from it from time to time. She’d hear her name whispered from time to time among the servants and soldiers when she walked by, but they restrained themselves well enough, most likely due to the fact that they all had a common enemy.

It also helped that there was someone whose names and actions were even more divisive than hers in some ways. Reagan Trevelyan, the Inquistior. Herald of Andraste to some, heretic to others and most interestingly (in her opinion), the mage who saved the Order from the grips of red lyrium. If he was bothered by the opinions of others, he certainly didn’t show it. He took it all in stride. Aerianne couldn’t help but compare herself when she was his age, in a similar position. She was terrified of letting anyone down and cared deeply about what people thought of her. Even those who disliked her. That was her biggest mistake. Maybe if she had just been more decisive, less compromising…

No. What’s done is done, as Isabela said. She couldn’t keep dwelling on the past. It was better to try and focus on fixing the problems of now. Corypheus was their target now.  

She eventually snapped out of her thoughts and back to the present when she heard two familiar voices, goading each other.

“Well, that is a clever move, but I believe the match will be mine,”

“Do you? Are you sure don’t want to reconsider your strategy, Commander? Because I have you in three,”

“That sort of trickery may have won you a few games back in Ostwick, but you won’t be getting any second guessing from me. Watch and observe,”

“We’ll see about- Oh, Hawke!” Reagan said, a large grin on his face as Aerianne approached them. He recovered rather quickly for a person who just spent weeks fighting Tevinter extremists in a barren desert. When he and the rest of the group first returned a few days ago, they looked like sandy, dishevelled and exhausted. It was the first time she ever seen requests for baths taking a priority over other repairs to the fortress. Aerianne was pretty sure that Varric just spent a whole day sleeping, occasionally mumbling about sand.  

“Sorry to disturb your game,” she said with a bit of a smile. “Leliana wanted me to give you the latest reports for Crestwood,”

“Oh, not a problem. We’re just about to finish this match up. Commander Cullen seems confident that the match is his,” he replied, reaching out and taking the large envelope after moving one of his pieces.

“Is that so?” she said, tilting her head as she crossed her arms looked over to Cullen and the chessboard.

“What’s that look?” Cullen furrowed his brows and looked at Aerianne suspiciously.

“It’s not a look!” she protested. “It’s just interesting to see you do something that doesn’t include work. Why do you always think I’m out to make your life difficult?”

“…Because you’re always out to make my life difficult,” he shrugged and then looked back at the chessboard and moved his knight.

“Oh please,” If anything, she had been exceedingly nice to Cullen as of late. It was on him if he chose to groan rather than laugh at his occasional joke. Or a compliment, or flirty remark, or any human interaction that she considered normal among her friends. He really was one of the most easily flustered people that she’d ever met. And she was related to Carver.  

Nonetheless, they were friends now, right? Aerianne felt that they were at least beyond acquaintances by this point. Perhaps close colleagues? She normally wasn’t one to categorize relationships with people beyond the typical social circles, but considering they were no longer ‘enemies’, it was worth investigating where they stood with one another.

The Inquisitor looked from Cullen to Aerianne, very clearly wanting to comment on their conversation, but then clearly deciding it wasn’t it place. Instead, he only held back a bit of a smile.

“Are you all done for today, Hawke? Off to go and see your other half?” he asked, moving his tower piece across the board.

“Varric? He’s been writing quite fervently since last night,” she replied. “ ‘ _A special request that requires my utmost attention’_ ,  is what he told me when I was in his quarters. I looked over a few of his pages for any obvious mistakes and it seemed like something for his old _Sword & Shields_ novels. Figured I’d let him be until he had another pile of papers for me to proofread,” he was also lowly cackling throughout his writing, but she really didn’t feel the need to bring that up. He was always behaving overly dramatic for no reason.

“Really? He’s working on that now?” Reagan stood up, almost in a scramble. It was then that Aerianne could’ve sworn that the Inquisitor’s eyes light up in excitement.

“Wait, you’re not that one person who actually reads that series, are you?” Surely not. Or maybe he was? Actually, if she were to think hard enough about it, she could see Reagan reading that sort of genre. She didn’t mean that as an insult. Strong and a born leader might be the words that she used to describe him when dealing with Inquistior Business, but he was rather different off the clock. Charismatically cheesy was a word that came to mind.

“Me? No, no. I much prefer his historical works. Hard in Hightown is great as well. This is for… a friend,”

“Say no more,” Aerianne laughed a little, lifting her hand. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you popped in to check it out,”

“You mind as well, Inquisitor. I believe the game is done,” Cullen replied, moving his knight once more to take the Reagan’s king. Reagan let out a bit of a sigh, but he didn’t seem particularly surprised. The commander did call it.

“Bah. So it is. Rematch soon?” the Inquisitor asked as he rolled down the cuffs of his sleeves before nodding to both the Commander and Aerianne.

“I always look forward to them,”

Aerianne gave a slight bow and watched as the Inquisitor ran off. Why did she have the feeling that Reagan was somehow involved in this latest burst of Varric’s writing? And it somehow was all connected to Cassandra?

“I never realized that you played chess,” she finally said, looking back at Cullen, who seemed quite comfortable, leaning back in his seat. A strong contrast to being hunched over a pile of reports.   

“A hobby I’ve had since I was a child,” he replied with a bit of a smile. “It’s a good way to get my mind off work,”

Aerianne nodded. It was rare to see Cullen relaxing. Especially as of late. He almost seemed intent on burying himself in it, as though he were trying to distract himself. Anytime she caught him in his office for lunch, he seemed to be talking to a scout, or signing some document, or finishing up a meeting. He didn’t seem to dislike his work by any means, but even those with the best job in the world needed a bit of rest.   

“Would you care for a game?” he continued, looking a little embarrassed. “If you’re up for it of course. I’ve still some time before I’m needed on the training grounds,”

Aerianne almost thought that she misheard Cullen for a moment. For the amount of time they spent together recently, she’d never heard him properly invite her to do something beyond work. She was tempted to say something jokey as she often did, but decided to hold it back. She was curious to see what a relaxed Cullen was like rather than a grumpy, irritated one.

“That would be lovely actually,” she replied, taking the seat that Reagan sat in previously.

“Now that I think of it, I didn’t realize you played chess either,” Cullen said as he arranged the pieces back to their original spaces.

“I used to a bit with my family. It’s been awhile, but I imagine it’s just like riding a horse. It’ll all come back to me soon enough,” Surely it couldn’t be that difficult.

The first match went to Cullen. That was no big deal. He just finished playing a game against the Inquisitor and Aerianne hadn’t played in years. She needed to warm up a bit first was all. Nothing too odd about that.

And then Cullen took the second match. Well, no big deal. He did say this was a hobby of his, but she was catching on to his strategy.

But then she lost a third time.

And then a fourth.

And then… 

“Okay, this is ridiculous! You can’t be this good,” Aerianne complained. It wasn’t even a challenge for him! He beat her in such a short amount of time too… He had to be cheating. Okay, no that was even less likely. Cullen could barely tell a lie, let alone cheat. Still, she refused to believe that he was some sort of unbeatable chess god. There had to be a reason for it all.

“You’re right. I’m not that good at chess. Dorian and Reagan have beaten me a few times. Leliana has as well, though she does have a habit of cheating,” Cullen then tried to hold in a laugh, but a smirk still managed to creep out as he took her king for a fifth time. “…But I think _you_ might be bad at chess. Terrible if I’m being honest,”

Aerianne gaped at his comment. She was more than used to his cutting remarks when they got on each other’s nerves, but it somehow threw her off when he was so confident and distractingly smiley about it. He was using her own techniques against her! Ugh, is this what chess did to him? Is this where he saved all his charisma and confidence?

“That’s not true!” she then shook her head, quite insistently. “My sister and father were excellent at chess and I beat them all the time. Well, a few times,”

Sure, maybe she didn’t play all the time, but it’s not like she was _that_ bad. She really did win against her family a handful of times. In fact, she still remembers beating them both for the first time. And they…

Were not as surprised as they should’ve been about it. They weren’t mad, or surprised, or even annoyed. If she were to think very carefully about their tone, it was a sort of fake-shock. Like when you let a child win in a race. Wait…

Andraste’s tits, they let her win.

“I’m terrible at chess,” A bit of an odd realization for a woman in her thirties to have, but there could be worse epiphanies to have.

“I’m sorry that this was the way you had to find out,” he joked as he started to put away the game pieces. Perhaps five straight losses within an hour was enough for the day. “Do you want to know what your biggest issue is when playing chess?”

“What?” she said, crossing her arms, clearly feeling a little sore about how bad she was. And she knew how Cullen could be when he had the upper hand. He’s get that annoying, satisfied smirk and proceed to find ways to work in ways to chide and lecture her. Lord it over her for weeks.

You know, essentially what she did to him half of the time. But it was worse because it was him. Obviously.

“You play chess like it’s a game of Wicked Grace,” he responded. “They both require different strategies, different risks,”

Aerianne chewed the inside of her cheek in annoyance, but she knew he was right.

“I’m sure if you ask Leliana, she’d be more than willing to teach you a few good strategies. Ideally ones that don’t include cheating,” continued.

“Not you?”

“Do you want me to? I quite recall you saying you hate it when I lecture you,”

“That’s when your scolding turns into a lecture,” she corrected. “I would hardly mind you lecturing me about something you enjoy,” 

“Is that so?”

And there was that smile again. No, not the smirk. Just a normal, content smile. It was usually so rare, but she had seen it surface a number of times throughout each match. She’d even seen it briefly when he was playing against Reagan. Aerianne didn’t want to say that he should smile more often. That sounded a little ridiculous considering everything that was going on around them (also it was a gross pick-up line that she heard far too often back at the Hanged Man). But still… it suited him well. She wouldn’t mind seeing it more often. It was…

Okay, now she was beginning to sound like one of the staff in the kitchen. She really had to stop going there before she started acting like a giddy young maiden herself. They were all about true love and romance which Aerianne was far beyond that point in her life now. Yes, yes, Cullen was handsome. And considerate. And hard working. And adorably awkward. The list could go on. And sure, the way their sparring match had ended a few weeks back _may_ have sparked a bit of curiosity of what he was like out of that armor. But ultimately, she knew it was a silly infatuation and nothing more. She would get over it, as she often did.

Perhaps Aerianne wasn’t the only one with a lot on her mind, as she also noticed the commander shaking his head slightly, as though trying to remove whatever current thoughts he had out of his head.  

“But, uh, we’ll save that for another time. I should probably head to the courtyard. Recruits, unfortunately, do not train themselves,” he slowly started to stand up.

“Right. Yes,” she replied, doing the same. “And I’d best prepare for Crestwood tomorrow,”

While the others still had a few days before they headed out, she needed to inform Stroud of the situation and see if she couldn’t deal a little bit with the bandit problem in the area. The Inquisitor already seemed to have to deal with another giant glowing hole that could threaten the nearby town, so it was the least she could do. Plus, she moved faster on her own.

“Ah right,” Cullen replied, doing the same. “Glad I got to see you before you left then. It’ll be a little unusual not having you around for a bit. Lunches will certainly be different,”

“Well, I’m sure one of the kitchen staff would love to have lunch with you in my stead,” Aerianne replied with a bit of a smirk. “The red-headed young lady is quite cute. I’ve seen you glance her way a few times,” and she’d done more than a few in his direction.

“That’s not- Hawke…” he said with irritation. There he was. The grumpy Cullen she knew far too well. She could relax again and get out of her head.   

“I assure you that I won’t say anything to her. It was just a helpful suggestion,” What a better way to get someone out of your head than to try and throw them into the arms of someone else? A flawless plan (a terrible plan).

“Suggestion noted, but ultimately disregarded,” he said, crossing his arms furrowing his brows. It really was amazing how easy it was to get under his skin as soon as the topic of romance and women came up. But she wouldn’t push it too far. He just got rid of his stress. She didn’t need to immediately pile up on it again.

 “Alright, alright. I know that look and tone, I won’t pester you further,” she smiled a bit and gave him a casual wave before turning around. “Take care, Commander. I’ll see you in a couple of weeks, hopefully,”

“Just… please be careful out there,” she heard him say. “For Varric. I know he, uh… he worries about you,”

Aerianne looked over her shoulder and back at Cullen. His arms were still crossed, and his eyes still stern with annoyance.

Or was it concern?

“…I will,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Longer than I expected it to be! I had a lot of problems trying to figure out this chapter. I kept writing something, then deleting it. Then writing something again, then hating that and deleting that. It took forever. Finally, I decided to settle on chess. I haven't been giving a whole lot of Hawke's POV in this story, so I figured I finally would this time. 
> 
> Ultimately, I think this story will be somewhere between 10-15 chapters, so from this point on, I'm hoping to make it a lot less slow burny, and more feelzy.


	8. Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aerianne writes a firmly worded letter to the Commander while in Crestwood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update! Mostly light-hearted, with a slight bit of past feels. Sorry that my chapters have been slowing down. Works been busy!

_So you’ll really do it?_

_Yes, it’s fine._

_I know it’s a lot to ask…_

_As long as you don’t ask me to hug a magister or move a mountain, I’ll be there, Aerianne._

Aerianne’s eyes shot open. Another dream. Or rather, a sleeping memory. They weren’t uncommon. She had them almost every night since the Chantry, but some were worse than others. Sometimes they were just voices, yelling in the darkness. Other times, they would be vivid pictures of the chantry explosion, or her mother and brother’s bodies. And sometimes it was of Fenris, the good and the bad.

It was a fond memory of him this time. But sometimes could be just a painful as the bad ones, in all honesty. They were like warnings.

She let out a long sigh before slowly sitting up. There was a light tapping sound above her as the rain hit her tent. Crestwood’s weather hadn’t let up since she arrived. It was dreary and grey, which wasn’t unusual for Fereldan, but it just seemed to be even more colourless as of late. You’d think there’d be a bit of green here and there with the rifts about, but no. Just dull.

It was as the reports said; Crestwood and it’s surrounding area were in bad shape. When it wasn’t demons and walking dead, it was bandits trying to get their fair share. And while the Grey Wardens weren’t hostile to anyone, they were doing the bare minimum to protect people. No, they were all intent on finding Stroud instead, which meant that she also had to keep a low profile. If they saw her snooping around, then they’d know they were close as well.

She eventually pulled herself from under the furs and started to change into her tunic and armor. There was still some time before the Inquisitor and his party arrived, but there was still work to be done. She had managed to slowdown some of the bandits by sabotaging their equipment and marking their camps on the maps. She also managed to set up some alerts for some of the villagers to let them know if there were any walking dead about. It wasn’t an easy task, but then again, when was it ever?

Walking out of her tent, she nodded to some of the scouts and soldiers around her. It was a little bit odd for her to be in a proper Inquisitor camp, but the War Coucil had requested that she be easy to locate. Which was…understandable she supposed. She did her work, and did it well, but the past four years of reports would probably tell them that she had a habit of disappearing and then popping out of nowhere from time to time. But it wasn’t like she would now. Not when it was important.

“Ah, Champion,” one of the soldier said running up to her. “I was told to inform you that it’s best that you stay at the camp today. The roads are very dangerous,”

“Hawke is fine,” Aerianne corrected. Champion was still not a title she enjoyed. She then tried to refrain from giving too much of a scoff. ‘The roads are dangerous’ was hardly an update. When were the roads not dangerous? She’d be more interested in knowing if they were safe. That would be fantastic.

“It’s fine. I can handle myself out there alone,” Aerianne said with a half-smile, trying to be polite. “It’s not the first time I’ve dealt with bandits or demons,”

“It’s not those we’re worried about,” the scout said. “There’s a dragon not too far off and she’s been very aggressive. Probably looking for new feeding grounds due to all the rifts disrupting everything. We’ve nearly lost a few men trying to scare her off. The captain thinks it’s best we try to wait her out. See if she can’t get full off of some of the remaining livestock and bandits before migrating again,”

“Don’t worry. I can be pretty discreet, especially on my own. The dragon won’t even know I was there,” she would leave well enough alone. She wasn’t daft enough to fight a dragon.  

“Well, um… it’s just been requested that if the captain deems the risk to high… then you’re also required to stay in camp,”

Aerianne then crossed her arms and furrowed her brow. “Oh really? And might I inquire as to who made this request?”  

The young man’s gaze shifted, clearly nervous about the conversation and the outcome. “Well, Champion-”

“ _Hawke,_ ”

“ _Serah_ Hawke,” he was shaking in his armor by this point. “I’m not really sure _exactly_ who made the request. But our orders usually come from the top and make our way down. It really could be anyone from a lieutenant to the Inquistior-” 

Aerianne cleared her throat, her patience clearly waning. She knew exactly which person who would put out an order preventing her from doing her work, but she still wanted to hear it from this recruit’s mouth.

“… It’s probably the Commander,” he finally mumbled.

Aerianne could feel herself grow more irritated. Of course it was him. Leliana would’ve wanted her out there. The Inquisitor would’ve trusted her intuition. Cullen on the other hand, would do something like this to her.

“Please Cha- Haw- _m’am_ ,” he continued, his voice shaking a bit. “I’m just following orders…it’s just that you’re considered important to the mission and… well, yes,”   

It’s true; it wasn’t this poor recruit’s fault. She shouldn’t take it out on him. Not today anyway.  

“Very well,” she said with a nod. “Please inform me as soon as the dragon’s left then. I’ll be in my tent,”   

As she made an about-face, a million questions popped into her head. Did he think that her incompetent? A child that needed to be babysat? She was older than him! She had been fine after all these years, she didn’t need supervision now. Oh, she would show him. She would show him in the best way one could when you could just march into their office.

A passive aggressive letter.   

_Dear Cullen,_

She then scratched out. No no. Not passive aggressive enough.

_Dear Commander Cullen Stanton Rutherford,_

There we go.

_I trust that everything is well at Skyhold. I was recently informed by one of your men that I am on a watch list of sorts? It seems that I’m being prevented by doing my job as I would normally would be able to. Imagine my (lack of) surprise when I found out that those orders came from you. So thanks to you, Commander. I now have who knows how long in this blasted tent, when I could be out there helping the Inquisition and the rest of Crestwood. All because your order has put me on lockdown over a tiny little dragon._

_Although I know I’ve recently become your best and most charming of friend and probably miss me greatly, I would so greatly appreciate it if you didn’t interfere in my work. I am an adult and am capable of handling the mission on my own. I know this is hard for you to do, but do have a little bit of faith in me._

_Yours truly,_

_Aerianne Hawke_

* * *

 

 

A few days had passed and although the dragon was still within the area of Crestwood, she made it’s way far enough that everyone could resume their regular activities. The weather was still terrible however, and even with some of her most durable of equipment, she found herself soaked towards the end of every day. As much as she hated to admit it, maybe it was a good idea that had been supplied a tent.

“Oh, um, Serah Hawke,” the soldier that she had scared earlier walked up to her, still looking a little nervous. “Message for you. From the Commander,”

“Of course it is,” she said with a small smile and nod as she took the envelope from his hand.

Back inside her tent, she rung out hair and put on a dry pair of clothing before opening the envelope. Her desired outcome was a full blown apology, begging for her forgiveness and revoking the order, but of course, it was never the case.   

_Aerianne Colette Hawke,_

_You were informed that precautionary measures would be taken place during your last meeting before you took your leave. I am not to be blamed if you didn’t think that these rules applied to you. A message was specifically sent about you to the camp because it was assumed that you would try to do as you felt anyway._

_I know you have some sort of condition that puts you at odds with being told what to do (which makes me wonder how you managed to serve as a soldier in Ostagar), but do try to comply. This isn’t some sort of conspiracy to stop you from doing your work. It’s quite the opposite. These orders are put in place to protect you and the mission._

_You’re a member of the Inquisition now, which means that you should start acting like one._

_Best Regards,_

_Cullen Rutherford_

_P.S. My most charming friend is Josephine. Please stop thinking that your antics are somehow endearing or cute._

Aerianne felt her started to feel her blood boil as she quickly snagged a quill and parchment from her pack.

 

* * *

 

 

_Dearest Commander,_

_I’m not ‘against’ rules. I just don’t like pointless orders. Especially from grumpy ex-templars. You’re lucky that I like your soldiers enough to not get them in trouble with you. I’ll listen to your stupid command this one time._

_In addition, I’ll admit that Josephine is more charming than me. But I’m still endearing and cute. You’re just too thick-headed to notice. It’s nice to see that you’ve haven’t denied we’re friends though._

_Your friend,_

_Aerianne_

And thus began the series of Crestwood letters.

 

* * *

 

_Dear Aerianne Hawke,_

_Could you please stop wasting Inquisition resources by sending these letters? If you’re mad about my orders, we can discuss it upon your arrival._

_Attached is a list of resources that my men need to collect in Crestwood. If you could kindly pass this on to the captain, that would be excellent._

_Regards,_

_Commander Cullen Rutherford_

* * *

 

 

_Dearest Commander,_

_For a man whose desk is always littered with reports, you seem to always find the time to reply to me in a timely manner. Don’t you think it’s a bit beneath a Commander?_

_Still your friend,_

_Aerianne_

_P.S. Caer Bronach is now officially under the control of the Inquisition. Reagan and his companions saw to that with very little issue. I’ve attached a report from one of your men, as it seemed to almost get sent to the wrong person. See? I’m not wasting your resources. Though might I also ask you to send this additional letter to Varric?_

_P.P.S_

_I hope you haven’t forgotten to eat without me there._

* * *

 

 

_Dear Aerianne,_

_Responses to you require very little thought and therefore take no time away from my duties. Thank you for the report. I’ve also sent the letter to Varric._

_Yes, I’m eating. Though I’ll say that my meals been quieter without you. I also have no idea what you have told the girls in the kitchen, but they will not stop giggling every time they deliver my lunch._

_Leliana has a request for you in Crestwood before you all leave. The details are on the next page._

_Be safe,_

_Commander Cullen Rutherford_

* * *

 

 

_Dear Cullen,_

_The Inquisitor and I have made contact with Stroud. We will give you the full report upon arrival, but I have a small request._

_I know that you said not to waste Inquisition resources, but is there any way to find out if Anders is in Orlais? I know, I know. I always ask for too much._

_Your friend,_

_Aerianne_

* * *

 

 

_Dear Aerianne,_

_I’ll see what can be done. Considering everything that has been happening, searching for Anders may prove to be important._

_Your friend,_

_Cullen_

 

Aerianne gave a half smile. Using both her first name and ‘your friend’. She didn’t think Cullen had it in him, but she appreciated the sentiment. It was then that she noticed one last sentence.

_P.S. As long as you don’t ask me sing or move a mountain, it’s fine._

It was then that she felt herself freeze. She quickly folded the letter and placed it in her bag, looking up at Reagan and the rest of the party.

Why did he have to use those words?

“It looks like I have another mission before I go back to Skyhold,” she said with an apologetic smile. “Leliana wants me to investigate something. I think it’s best if you all went ahead. I trust that Stroud is in good hands with all of you,”

Reagan looked at her with suspicion for awhile, which made her shift uncomfortably. It was a very obvious lie. But she couldn’t go back just yet. It was a mistake to continue writing those letters.

“It’ll take a week, at most,” she added. “It seems like it’s really important,”

“… If it’s what Leliana wants. But we really need you back as soon as you can. If there really is something going on in the Western Approach, then we need you there,”

The rogue nodded. “I promise you can count on me,”

With that, Aerianne bid farewell to them and they went their separate ways.

She would be there for them. She promised she would. She just…

Needed to clear her head.


	9. On The Other Side of Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Aerianne was wrote her letters, what were things like for Cullen?

_Dear Commander Cullen Stanton Rutherford,_

_I trust that everything is well at Skyhold. I was recently informed by one of your men that I am on a watch list of sorts? It seems that I’m being prevented by doing my job as I would normally would be able to. Imagine my (lack of) surprise when I found out that those orders came from you. So thanks to you, Commander. I now have who knows how long in this blasted tent, when I could be out there helping the Inquisition and the rest of Crestwood. All because your order has put me on lockdown over a tiny little dragon._

_Although I know I’ve recently become your best and most charming of friend and probably miss me greatly, I would so greatly appreciate it if you didn’t interfere in my work. I am an adult and am capable of handling the mission on my own. I know this is hard for you to do, but do have a little bit of faith in me._

_Yours truly,_

_Aerianne Hawke_

 

Cullen let out a long sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He could feel a headache coming on.

She was incorrigible, he’d give her that. He could almost hear her annoying, matter-of-fact tone; her false politeness, nagging at him through the parchment. It’s amazing how his life went from ‘What happened to Hawke’ to ‘Not this again’ in a matter of months.

The commander locked his fingers together and laid his chin on his thumbs, contemplating. He should ignore this. There really was no need to reply to this nonsense. The captain in charge of Crestwood could easily inform her of why the procedure was put into place. He could also lie and say that he never received her letter and instead, use it as kindling. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s received sternly-worded letters from the Champion. She was intentionally trying to get a rise out of him and he really shouldn’t encourage such behaviour. They were grown adults in the midst of a war against a darkspawn magister.

**

“Message for you Commander,” A scout said as she handed Cullen an envelope. There was an incredible amount of detail put into it. The borders were decorated with dark ink vines and flowers. His name was written in impeccable cursive writing, far more suitable for an invitation to a noble soiree than a report from Crestwood.

“Sweet Andraste…” the commander muttered to himself as he looked over the letter; another long list of passive aggressive grievances about his pervious letter. Clearly he hit a nerve this time though. She only ever decorated her parchment when she was looking to give her complaint an extra kick, so you couldn’t ignore it. Still, she was out in the middle of damp, rainy Crestwood and there was barely a smudge on the ink. Impressive in a very petty sort of manner.

Just one last letter to her and that would be that. He was planning on finally getting back to Mia anyway, so mind as well throw Hawke into the mix as well.

**

“Well-well if it ain’t the Commander,” Varric grinned as he watched the blonde young man approach him. “Are you finally taking me up on that game of Wicked Grace? We’ve got a small crowd tonight, but I assure you, it’ll be memorable,”

“Perhaps another time,” or never. He never did trust the dwarf to play any game fairly, no matter how far they were away from Lowtown. “You’ve a message from Hawke,”

“So you’re doing the mail now? Didn’t realize we were that understaffed,”

Well at least Cullen now knew where Hawke got her sense of humor. They were incredibly unfunny with their side comments. “It was sent in the same envelope. She asked me to give it to you,”

“Really?” Varric asked as he took the folded letter from Cullen’s hand. “That’s interesting,”

“I assure you, it’s not what you’re thinking,” Cullen furrowed his eyebrows.

“Relax, Curly. I’m not thinking anything,” he replied casually, his eyes focused on the parchment. “Just a harmless observation is all. What do you think I was thinking, though?”  

“Just- n-nothing! Never mind,”

**

Weeks passed, as did the letters, unsurprisingly. They had become a bit of a regular thing. Their conversations had strayed from passive aggressive comments to witty banter to general updates. That’s how it always seemed to go with her. He didn’t particularly dislike it. It was familiar.

_Dear Aerianne,_

Cullen read her name quietly to himself. He’d never really called her by her first name before. Then again, did anyone other than her family? They dropped the formalities a few letters ago, but it still felt a little odd. But not in a bad way. He wasn’t exactly sure how to describe it.

He dipped his quill in the ink again and continued to write on the parchment. It’s funny how things change. Cullen used to pray for the day that he wouldn’t have to deal with Hawke waltzing into his office or showing up at a confidential incident unannounced. When that day finally came, he wasn’t quite prepared for it. When the world is turned upside down, you try to cling to anything that resembles a routine.

And now she was back in his life. Somewhat. And now time had passed enough for him to admit to himself now that it wasn’t just her nostalgic presence that he’d missed. Or the routine.

He liked her.

He liked her terrible jokes. He liked her annoying persistence and determination. He liked her violet eyes and her smile. It was easier to dismiss all that back in Kirkwall. They were on opposing sides. She was involved with Fenris. Not to mention that he… just wasn’t in a good place for any sort of relationship at that time.

Now, he had a bit of a clearer head, for better or for worse. Lyrium withdrawal dredged up a lot of terrible nightmares and heartache. Some days it was almost unbearable. But just as he was close to giving up, he’d recall a fond memory that was once lost. Time with his siblings, his first touch of a real sword, even some from Kinloch Hold before everything fell. His memories of Hawke were clearer. She wasn’t always a nuisance that showed up at his office. She was an ally and a friend in many ways. Hawke aided the templars just as often as she did the mages. She managed to both get him and pull him out of awkward social situations.

Hawke…was lot of things. Perhaps it was better late than never to realize them.

Cullen just wished he knew if she felt the same way. It was hard to tell with her. Some days, it almost seemed as though she were waiting for him to say something. She would tease and flirt, close the gap between them. Other days, she would push away, try and set him up with other women in Skyhold. He’d dare not ask Varric, as not to seem like some sort of awkward adolescent, even though he absolutely felt like one.  

The commander sighed and looked over at what he’d written. Friendly, but professional. Shorter than other letters, but they would be on their way back soon anyway. It was fine. Until he spotted the last sentence he wrote.  

 _I miss you_.

He let out a short grunt of frustration and crushed up the parchment, tossing it into the bin beside his desk. It was bad. This was bad.

Maker Above, what was he going to do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally getting things moving with some I apologize for this slow... slow-burn. I quite enjoy writing banter, but even I know that unresolved sexual-tension can only go on for so long. So here's to upping the ante in the next couple of chapters.


	10. Truth and Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aerianne reflects on her past before eventually returning to Skyhold with hopes that she could finally focus back on the mission. 
> 
> But it's always easier said than done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gahh, it took almost a month to update this one! Sorry guys. I was having a lot of difficulties coming up with this chapter. This chapter was re-written like, 3 times and spawned two random one shots. I also took a break from it to participate in Leather and Lace, which was a lot of fun. 
> 
> Anyway, here we are... a new chapter. I hope the next one will come to me a bit quicker.

The final chapter of Varric’s ‘The Tale of the Champion’ brings us to the final climax where Anders takes justice into his own hands and destroys the Kirkwall chantry, laying the foundations of the mage-templar rebellion. For those who were less interested in the history and politics and more into the dramatics. After all, The Tale of the Champion no only had action, but romance and intrigue as well.

Aerianne Hawke and Fenris; unable to reconcile their differences for the last time. They meet one last time on the battlefield, where the Champion plunges her dagger into her lover’s heart.

Varric did always have a flair for the dramatic. As cruel as it seemed, at least there was a certain finality and resolve to it. It wrapped things up all quite nicely in an epic tale of the Hero’s Sacrifice for the Greater Good.

But real life was never quite wrapped quite as nicely or glamorous. Neither was death.

By this point in Aerianne’s life, she more than knew her way around a dagger. She took on the Arashok and several qunari. She fought blood mages and templars, demons, abominations and serial killers. As much as she hated to fight and kill, she was good at it.

Fenris and her fought; that was true. But it was not with as much passion and intent as one would expect between two mercenaries. After all, it was one thing to disagree and get into an argument; something else when you’re fighting on opposing sides. At least, that was what Aerianne felt. She really did wish that she knew what was running through the elf’s brain in the last moments.

She didn’t stab him in the heart. Well, not literally anyway. She had no intention of killing the man she loved, no matter how bad things had gotten between them. Had it been up to her, they wouldn’t even be in combat, but things had long since fallen out of her hands in Kirkwall. All she wanted was to disarm him. If he couldn’t hold a sword or get close enough to use his hands, then then everything could be okay. That’s what she truly believed. That even after all of this, they could still talk it out. That he could understand that Kirkwall wasn’t Tevinter. So she did just that; a precision cut to his arms to render him less dangerous to those around him.

What happened after was a little blurry. There were so many people around that it was hard to see who did what. Some say it was a stray shot of magic that struck him as a result from the rest of the fighting going on around him. Others said that they were sure that he was going in for the kill and that someone tried to stop him. Regardless of who or what was the final blow, it resulted in his death.

_It’s not your fault_. People would tell her. _It was a rebellion, it was war. Casualties are expected. He was wrong to side with the templars._

There always seemed to be a reason as to why it ‘wasn’t her fault’, but he was one of many people who either died or suffered due to her choices. 

That’s what made it so hard to move on. That’s what made it so hard to just accept things as they were.   

Some days were passable, made her feel normal. That maybe she could do better for others and make up for all the things that went wrong. She still had people that she needed to protect. There were still things that she had to do before she died. Other days however, it was as though she were in an endless nightmare. Seeing the death of her brother and mother, betraying Bethany and Isabela’s trust, and of course… all the bittersweet memories with Fenris. Sometimes, it only took the smallest thing to have it all coming back.

Reading last Cullen’s letter...

It wasn’t his fault. It’s not as though he knew what words would set off her memories. Maybe it was better this way, however. As much as she wanted to deny it and thought it impossible, she knew that she was falling for the commander. She wanted to be around him, talk with him, hear his laugh, feel his touch and embrace. It was all very cheesy and naïve and something that she thought she’d long since gotten over.  

Maybe it was the familiarity of him. Or the ways he was different from his old self. Maybe she was just lonely. Regardless of whether the reason was sincere or just infatuation, she had to constantly remind herself that she shouldn’t pursue.

To care for someone again, especially Cullen, it felt like a bad idea for numerous reasons. Firstly, it felt like a betrayal to Fenris. As messy as things were towards the end, Aerianne still felt it would almost be like spitting on his grave for her to find happiness without him.  

Then there was just the issue of Cullen being a former templar. Although it was apparent that things had changed over the past four years, could he really trust mages? Honestly, could either of them really set their beliefs and values aside in a relationship?

More importantly, how did she even know that he felt the same way about her that she did for him? If he didn’t, then all this worry of attraction was for naught and she could just wait the whole thing out. She’d done it for Varric, there was no reason why she couldn’t do the same for Cullen.

Yet… a part of her wanted him to feel the same way. It was terrible of her to want that. Selfish. That’s why she needed to spend a few weeks away. She needed to focus on what was important. Corypheus, destroying red lyrium, helping the grey wardens. Fixing her mistakes.

It’s always easier said than done.

Night had long since fallen when Aerianne finally returned to Skyhold. It was quiet, other than the sound of footsteps of the guards on night duty. The fortress still didn’t quite feel like ‘home’, but it was still familiar at least. It felt nice to be back, other than the fact that she knew she’d have to apologize to the Inquisitor and the rest of the council tomorrow. She wasn’t quite sure what she’d say, other than she’d make sure it wouldn’t happen again, though it probably would. Ugh, when she did she become so unreliable? Not quite the standard that she used to set as the Champion of Kirkwall.

As she made her way up the steps to the ramparts, she noticed a soft, yellow glow emanating from the windows of the commander’s office. Even at this hour, he was toiling away. She slowed down in front of the door, her violet eyes resting on the handle. She could feel a hundred conflicting thoughts run through her head.

She then let out a short sigh and continued walking. No. She just had to keep reminding herself to stay diligent.

“Hawke?” she then heard behind her.

Andraste’s blighted undergarments, she was not a religious woman, but she couldn’t help but feel that the Maker was truly testing her.   

“Commander Cullen,” she said as she looked over her shoulder, a forcing a grin onto her face. “Do you ever sleep?”

“Did you just get back?”  

“More or less. I’m a very slow walker,”

Cullen was silent as he looked with a stern look expression. It was clear that he was thinking, but as for what it was about, she could only guess. Either way, it seemed that she couldn’t quite banter herself out of this situation.

“I’m sorry. I… just had to go for a bit,” she didn’t quite know how else to explain it to him in a way that wouldn’t make things more suspicious. “But I assure you that I’m dedicated to this mission. It won’t happen again,”

He didn’t respond, but his furrowed brow softened slightly.

“I think we need to talk,” he finally responded. “If that’s alright with you,”

Aerianne looked at both him and the door that he held open. He was asking her, not demanding, so she could just say that this could wait until tomorrow. Right?

Then again…

As usual, Cullen’s office was a den of paperwork. Perhaps a little less than usual, but it was clear that that the Inquisition was keeping him just as busy with a pen than with a sword. Now she felt a little guilty writing the amount of pointlessly long-winded letters to him.

Cullen motioned for her to take a seat. Aerianne was hesitant at first, but sat across from him, as she always did. She wasn’t quite sure what to expect. He didn’t look overly upset, but he also didn’t seem as though this were going to be a casual talk over a midnight snack.

“I understand that you’re quite used to doing things a particular way,” he began. “But it’s important that we know where you are. You’re part of a team,”

“That’s why I made sure that Stroud was safe with the Inquisitor. If something had happened, you’d still be able to find out what happened with the other wardens,” she wasn’t completely irresponsible. “I’m not about to go and jeopardize missions because I wanted some time away,”

“That’s not what I mean,” he continued, a frown appearing on his face again. “Just because it’s not relevant to a mission, doesn’t mean you should spend your time being reckless. Rifts are always popping up, and Corypheus’ agents are everywhere. It’s dangerous for you to be alone without a contact,”

“Cullen, it’s fine. I really don’t need a lecture on what constitutes as danger right now,” she said with a sigh. He really would make a perfect headmaster somewhere when all of this was done.   

“Varric was worried about you,” he continued.

“He knows that I’ll always turn up. I’m not that easy to kill,”   

“That doesn’t mean that he can’t worry about you,”

Aerianne chewed the inside her cheek. “Then I’ll be sure to profusely apologize to _Varric_ tomorrow,”

A long sigh escaped the commander. He was very clearly frustrated. Yes, she was purposefully going to miss the point if he was going to dodge what he really wanted to say.

“That doesn’t mean _I_ can’t worry about you,”

She could suddenly feel her chest tighten. Well, maybe she didn’t quite want his honesty and perhaps he could sense her discomfort in his statement.

“Forgive me. It’s not my intention to make you feel guilty. I know… it’s not easy for you to be around everyone all the time,” he responded, an apologetic look on his face. “But I also can’t pretend that I don’t care about your wellbeing. If you had been harmed and I had no way of knowing again…”

“Again?”

And now, she could sense his discomfort.

“I know we were never on excellent terms in Kirkwall, but I still… never wanted to see you hurt,” the commander turned his gaze away from her. “After you left, I had no way of knowing whether you were alive or dead. I understand why it had to be that way, but I was still… you were- … it made me think a lot,”

He let out a low grumble as he shook his head. “Maker, this sounded better in my head,”

As much as he loved to lecture her, when put on the spot, it didn’t always flow out as well as he wanted. She got it though. Aerianne reached across his desk and placed her hand on his, reassuringly. 

“Thank you for worrying about me, Cullen,” she responded. “And I apologize for not informing you of my whereabouts sooner. I’ll try to do better next time. As you said, I’m part of a team now,” she couldn’t promise that it wouldn’t disappear again, but at least she could give her some indication that she was okay.  

She squeezed his hand one more time before letting go and standing up. “I should probably let you rest. I imagine we both have lots to do tomorrow,”

The commander nodded, but it was clear that he still had a lot more on his mind. That was nothing new though. He always looked like that after they spent too much time alone. But he never did say anything. It was probably better if he didn’t. She had to keep reminding herself. 

But that didn’t mean that she didn’t always have a slight pang of disappointment every time it happened.

 “Aerianne,”

She froze, her hand on the handle of the door. He had written it a few times during their exchange, but this was the first time she’d ever heard him say it aloud. Maker, she rarely heard anyone use her first name.

“There is… one more thing I need to tell you,”

Aerianne could feel the slight touch of his fingers against the side of her face. They were calloused, but his touch was hesitant and soft. She slowly turned around and looked at him. His gaze was soft, if not a little nervous, but he did not avoid eye contact. She knew the look. She saw it once before, when they had that sparring match in front of the new recruits. But there was no one to stop them this time.

She then leaned her head into the palm of his hand and closed her eyes. Maker, she should leave. After thinking about all the scenarios and the likely outcomes, she knew what could happen. She told herself time and time again that she shouldn’t do this. What was the point of being away all this time if this was what it would come down to?

But, out of all the voices and reasoning in her head, there was only one that echoed louder than all the others. If she could just forget all of that for just this one moment. She was so tired, so exhausted. Couldn’t she be selfish?

Just one last time?

“I’m listening,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't have the heart to actually have Aerianne kill Fenris with her bare hands. A) it's hella tragic and B) Also really difficult to think that either Hawke or Cullen would hook up after a straight-up murdt of a lover. Though I guess that's very Shakespearean in a way. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed it!


	11. If You'll Have Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aerianne and Cullen finally make their feelings known. 
> 
> *Sexual Content

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, a slowburn gotta heat up at one point.   
> *Sweating* So here's... a smut... with feeeeeeelingssssss 
> 
> I've mentioned many a time before that Cullen can be fun, but difficult to write sometimes. That has never been truer than while I was writing this scene. Shout out to all you smutty Cullen fic writers who manage to keep him incredibly consistent in personality. Y'alls the real MVPs. I am not sure how in character or consistent he is in this chapter, so apologies in advance. 
> 
> But ultimately, I happy reading!

Aerianne listened to Cullen carefully as he spoke. He took his time with his words, being mindful of what and how he was saying them. It was clear that it had weighed on his mind for some time. It was a relief, in a way, but also made things more difficult. She had told herself, if he didn’t feel the same way, she could get over it, move on. But here he was, laying his heart out for her. It made her heart swell, but she also didn’t understand he could feel this way for her.

“I’m difficult,” she couldn’t help but say, an apologetic smile on her face. “I’m headstrong. I might disappear. I’ll probably cause you so many headaches. More than what I do now,”  

“You’re also kind and passionate. You fight for what’s right,” he responded. “As for headaches, I assure you that I’ve dealt with much worse,”

She was at a crossroads. She wanted to jump into his arms and tell her that she was never happier to hear his words. That she was willing to put her feelings on the line for him if he truly felt this way. After all, they’d come this far.

But she couldn’t. Not just yet. Because Aerianne, as selfish as she could be, as she wanted to be, still put someone before her at all times. And because of that, one of the first sentences that she ever heard Cullen say, would ring through her ears.

_Mages are weapons._

“My father was a mage. My sister _is_ a mage,” she said, feeling her chest tighten. “And I love her so much, Cullen. Her and Merrill, and even Anders,” she could feel tears forming in her eyes as she quickly fumbled for the door handle behind her.

It hurt. Oh Maker, how it hurt. She wanted this so badly, to push aside all her doubts and just go for it. But no matter how much she cared about him, she couldn’t put herself through _that_ again. She just needed to know that she wouldn’t have to go through that. That she wouldn’t have to choose. Because when it came down it, it would always be Bethany. She would always try to protect her little sister. How could she not after everything that has happened?

Cullen cupped her cheeks into his hands, tilting her head slightly upwards. His thumbs wiped away the tears that fell. His expression was soft and calming as she stared into his brown eyes. This wasn’t the first time she’d been this close him, but it was now that she had noticed things that she’d never really considered before; his height, the flecks of gold in his eyes, his features that had sharpened since Kirkwall. He was always handsome, she could never deny this, but this was the first time that she ever really let herself be taken in by him.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, continuing to caress her cheeks. “For… so much. I know I did and said a lot of things back then. I’m not proud of who I was back then. I’ll keep trying to do better because of that,”

Her grip on the handle weakened at his words. An apology. A desire for change. It only made her want to cry more, but not for the same reasons. Maybe this time, things could be different. She choked out a laugh.

“Commander Cullen Rutherford,” she began. “I never thought I’d see the day that you would have a reply for everything I’ve thrown at you,”

“I have my moments, Aerianne Hawke,” the commander replied, a small smile forming on his lips. He then leaned in closer to her, closing the gap between them. “And… if you’ll have me…” 

He was hesitant at first, if not a little nervous. But once his lips locked with hers, any doubts they had seemed to leave them. Cullen’s lips were strong, warm, wanting. She’d forgotten the feeling. A dizzying, melting sensation, that also made her heart swell and her knees buckle. Her hands crept up and gripped at the furs around his armour as she returned the kiss. She then felt his hands leave her face and instead, wrap around her body in an embrace. This was what she wanted.

And then there was a knock on the door.  

“Commander? Is everything alright?” a voice asked from the other side; One of guards on night duty.

“Everything is quite… fine,” Cullen broke the kiss and coughed, trying to hide his annoyance.

“I thought I heard a noise,”

“A book fell,” he continued. “Is there anything you need?”

“Well, actually commander. If you’re not busy, I have a few questions about…”

Aerianne covered her mouth, trying to muffle her laughter as Cullen’s expression quickly become a mix of irritation and worry. He then tilted his head and motioned for her to climb the ladder. Aerianne gave him a bit of a confused look, but then let go of him and made her way up.

To her surprise, the room was not filled with the books and reports. Not a storage room, but a bedroom.

“Of course, he sleeps in his office,” she shook her head, chuckling quietly to herself.

Well, at least he had a bed. She wouldn’t have put it past him to sleep at his desk. She looked at the hole below one more time as she heard Cullen open the door and talk with the recruit. The man really was on a twenty-four-hour shift. Slowly, she made her way towards his bed. Neatly made, as expected. Once she sat on it, she looked up at the ceiling, it was then that she noticed it; a hole in his roof. A little concerning, but at the same time, the way that the stars sparkled in the night sky and the moonlight crept through was rather beautiful. This night was turning out far different than she expected. Her fingertips brushed her lips and smiled to herself.

Different, but it felt right, for the first time in a long time.

She then heard the creaking of the ladder as Cullen made his way up as well. He looked embarrassed and annoyed.

“My apologies,” he said, shaking his head.

“Ever the hard worker,” she rested her hand on the palm of her hand. “Such is the life of a commander,”

“Indeed,” he raked his fingers through his hair, looking discouraged. “Andraste preserve me, of all the times…”

“Cullen, it’s fine,”

“I really wanted this to go right and…”

“Cullen,”

“I should’ve just ignored it, though I suppose he probably would’ve come in and-”

“Cullen Stanton Rutherford,”

It was then that started to undo the buckles of her leather armour and kicking off her boots. “Are you coming to bed, or will I have to go back to my room for the night?”

The commander stared at the rogue, who leaned back, a smirk appearing on her face. He then snapped out of any thought he had before he quickly stripped off his own chest plate and armour as quickly as he could before he joined her.

Their lips locked once more as Aerianne felt one of his hands fumble and slide up underneath her cotton shirt. She let out a small gasp as she felt him cup one of her breasts. His lips trailed down from lips to her jawline hungrily, until he reached the crease in her neck and lightly nipped at the skin. She gripped at his shoulders, arching her back. She buried her face into his hair, breathing in deeply.

Aerianne could then feel Cullen’s other hand tug at her breeches, pulling them down and then sliding in between her legs, exploring her folds, until he slipped inside. Her moans becoming louder as his pace quickened and his thumb rubbed against her nub.

“W-wait…” she said, her hands fumbling to grab at his arm. He obliged and removed his fingers.

“Sorry,” she said, her cheeks flushed, trying to catch her breath as she sat up. “I just, um. Sorry, it’s been awhile. And this is a little… different,” She was well aware of the stories of templars who made regular visits at the Blooming Rose. Not all were quite so considerate of their partner’s wants and needs. Then there was always the image she had of Cullen. She always pictured him to be shy and reserved, considering that he could hardly string to words with a pretty girl. She was just a little caught off guard, and wanted to savor the moment.  

“You’re more _giving_ than I thought you’d be,”

Cullen gave the woman a bit of a confused look, clearly trying to process her comment. “Is that bad or…?”

“It’s good,” she said, patting him on the shoulder reassuringly. “Trust me that is _excellent_. But, give me a chance to have my fun with you too,” the commander couldn’t help but laugh slightly, but nodded.

After kicking off her breeches entirely, Aerianne then grabbed at his shirt and fumbled slightly as she pulled it off, exposing a view that she always suspected, but was now completely confirmed.

“Well,” she couldn’t help but say, her eyes not shying away from looking at his toned muscles. “You’re… very fit,”

“I believe the last time you told me that, I was carrying you back to your estate after one of your evenings at the Hanged Man,” he laughed and then helped her out of her own top. His own eyes then rested upon her, his Adam’s apple bobbing slightly as he swallowed again. It was different, having him watch her with such desire. Not that she was complaining. He was probably thinking the same thing about her. Still, it was flattering.

“Well, apparently, my comment still stands,” she responded with a grin, placing her hands on him and slowly, pushing him to lie down on his back as she sat beside him. Upon closer examination, she noticed a few scars upon his chest and abdomen. Her fingers lightly traced them.  

“Stories for another time,” he said quietly. She looked back up at him and nodded before softly pressing her lips against his again. Right, she wasn’t the only one who had scars.

Her kisses made their way down his chest, as her hands then slid down past his abdomen and releasing his cock from his trousers. He let out a slight grunt at her airy touch. She wrapped her fingers around him and stroked the length of his shaft until it was completely erect. She could feel him trying to stop himself from bucking his hips. Aerianne couldn’t help but smile as she looked back up at his face. She felt his hand creep of her side and pull her over above him. His eyes fluttered as he continued to look at her up and down, taking in her curves, her expression, the moment.

“I’m just… realizing that you’re here. Really here,”

“Are you saying you’ve had this fantasy before?” she couldn’t help but chastise as she caressed his cheek.

“There may have been a moment or two in Kirkwall that my mind may have wandered,” he said, turning his head and kissing her hand.

Cullen held her at her waist, as she lowered herself onto him carefully. She winced slightly, now fully realizing that it been quite some time since she had done this with anyone.  

“You’re alright?” Cullen asked, sliding one his hands up to brush her hair away from her face.

“Mm,” she responded. “Just… slowly at first,”

He nodded, resting his hands on the side of her thighs as she started to move her hips up and down. She bit down on her lower lip, as she felt him hit her core. Aerianne couldn’t help but feel a little self-conscious. As much as she wanted this, he was still new to her. There was so much she already hadn’t expected from him, she couldn’t help but wonder if he thought the same. If he expected her to be more forceful and bold, or perhaps even more docile. Come on Aerianne Hawke, where was your confidence?

Perhaps he sensed her hesitation, for she felt him lightly squeeze her thighs.

“Don’t worry,” he said, reassuringly.

“I’m supposed to be the witty experienced one, yet here I am fumbling,” she couldn’t help much let out another short laugh. She wasn’t used to it.

“Well, that’s part of the fun, isn’t it?”  

“You really are a different man out of your armour, aren’t you?” but he wasn’t wrong. She needed to get out of her own head. She took deep breath and smiled, pulling one of his hands up to her cheek.

Once the rhythm of her hips started to speed up, Aerianne could feel Cullen’s hands start to explore her body again, pulling her in close to bury his face into her breasts, lighting nipping at her skin.

“Maker, you’re beautiful,” he breathed. His voice was rough whisper, almost a growl. His words dizzied her head almost as much as his touches. She wanted more.

Her anxieties started to leave her, the faster they moved, and the more he reacted with his facial expressions and groans. She felt herself starting to lose herself again as he felt his hips start to thrust upwards to match her rhythm.  

“Cullen…I’m…!” she cried as she felt a surge of pleasure rush from her core to the rest of her body.

He pulled her in close one more time, crashing his lips against hers, swallowing her gasps and moans. It was then that she also felt him throb and release as well. Eventually, his thrusting slowed down to a stop. Aerianne collapsed onto his chest, breathing heavily, hair sticking to her face and forehead from the sweat. Eventually, Cullen slowly removed himself from inside her and gently rolled her beside him and sliding them both under the covers.

For awhile, they did not speak, but they kept each other close, their fingers interlocked as she rested her head upon his shoulder.  

“That was… nice,”

“Nice?” Aerianne’s turned her head up to look at him. She saw him wince and rub his temple, clearly regretting his choice of words. There was the man she knew

“More than nice,” he corrected but he realized that sounded just as terrible.  

“Well, I think that you’re more than nice too,” she joked before kissing him lightly on the cheek. He was right though. It was nice. She’d forgotten how it felt, to be in someone’s arms, to be cared for like this. To have someone enamoured with you. She missed the feeling. Though little did she suspect to find it again with the commander after all this time, a former templar.

“I’ll admit, I didn’t expect tonight to go like this,” he continued.

“How did you expect it to go?”

“At best, we’d share a kiss. At worst, you would laugh in my face, maybe slap me across the face. The middle ground was that you’d let me down easy,”

“Have you ever seen me slap anyone across the face?”   

“Lord Hayes at the Viscount’s birthday soirees,” he said without skipping a beat. “You could hear it echo in the halls,”

“Ah, right,” there was that one time. But that was an exception rather than the rule. Lord Hayes had a very slappable face.

“Well, we’re here now,” she continued. “And where do we go from here?”

“Where would you like for it to go?” he asked her, squeezing her tightly.

Now that was a question that she wished she could answer. They both knew that no matter how they felt about each other, there was still a lot to overcome. There was no guarantee that she would stay at Skyhold after this mission. And there was no way he could leave his position. And while she was okay emotionally at this moment, there was no certainty that she would always be like this. That the doubts wouldn’t seep back in again.

Aerianne’s eyes started to grow heavy. She knew there was much to discuss, but for now…

“Hopefully somewhere nice,”

This was all she wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, it's been a personal goal of mine to be okay with writing more 'intimate' scenes. I don't necessarily think that romance needs to have sex scenes to make it work, but I still think that they can add another interesting aspect. Also I just wanted to see if I could get over my own weird embarrassment. The result? Sort of. 
> 
> Is there more planned for the future? We'll see. As embarrassed as I was, it was also fun. Thanks you all again for reading this far.


	12. A Small Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The war council notice a small difference in Cullen's behavior as of late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long time of no updating! Real Life comes at you fast sometimes.   
> This one is a little dialogue heavy and very upbeat in comparison to the last few chapters. I can never keep away from humor for too long. 
> 
> Anyway, happy reading!

“Hm,”

“Something the matter, Inquisitor?”

Leliana and Josephine looked up at Reagan as they stood around the war table. His brows were furrowed, and his arms crossed as he looked as though he were in deep thought.

“No doubt he is simply pining over our lovely Seeker again as he thinks of ways to woo her next,” Leliana quipped, a playful smile forming on her face.

Reagan returned with a grin. “Well, that’s always a give-in, isn’t it?” His budding relationship with Cassandra was no secret to his inner circle and he was more than excited to gush about it. How could he not? She was beautiful, strong, smart, terrifying, and had the most adorable disapproving grunts that he had ever heard. But for once, this was not about his paramour.

“I’m actually trying to figure someone else out today,” he said, looking over some of the reports. “Our dear Commander Cullen,”

“Oh, _intrigue_ ,” Leliana grinned as she stood by Reagan and looked over the courtyard with him. “What are we gossiping about today? His past? His off-duty hours? His hair?”

“Have you noticed he’s been coming in later than usual?”

“What do you mean? He’s always on time for the meetings,” Josephine tilted her head as she looked at the inquisitor curiously.

“But he’s usually here before Leliana and well before me,” he responded. “That’s essentially being late, by Cullen’s standards,”

 

“You have a point. He has been arriving just a little before we officially start. Very curious,” the spymaster tapped her chin thoughtfully.

“Well, you see, I have this theory…”

“You know that fire and swords are slow engines destruction, compared to the tongue of gossip,” 

Josephine shook her head at her two companions as she clicked her tongue. While the ambassador had a way with words and finding information, she did try to abstain from indulging too much into the private lives of others without warrant, especially their allies and friends.

 “My lovely Josephine, there’s nothing wrong with some mild speculations between friends,” An innocent smile formed on the inquisitor, which only made him seem more suspicious. “We did it all the time in the circle, when the paperboy is running late. It’s all in good fun,”

Josephine clicked her tongue again. A half-Antivan stuck in a magi circle for most of his life, along with a bard who had one of the most intricate spy networks? That could only breed the nosiest of situations.

“Well, _I’m_ not going to indulge in your little rumors about the commander. You two should really leave him be. He’s probably just busy with training so many of our new recruits,” 

The inquisitor and spymaster shrugged at the comment. They would not let the ambassador’s disapproval dissuade them so easily from their morning conversation.

“There’s something going on with him,” Reagan nodded and looked back at Leliana. “You’ve seen it, haven’t you?”

“He does seem in less of a bad mood lately, doesn’t he?”

The inquisitor nodded. “It’s slight, but there are changes in his habits,”

While certain parts of him were still (understandably) irritable, there were differences. He barked less at the new recruits and seemed to take real, proper breaks from his work rather than trying to pull ridiculous hours. Sometimes his gaze seemed distant, but in the way that seemed that he was reminiscing on something pleasant.

“I saw him humming to himself while he was looking over reports,” Leliana agreed.

“Right? And one time during a game of chess, he seemed to be daydreaming. _Just thinking of something_ , he told me. We’re always thinking of something! That’s how the mind functions,”

“He… does seem to be scowling less. His brows are slightly less knitted than they normally are. It’s a softer expression,”

Leliana and Reagan grinned as Josephine finally joined their ranks. Try as she might, she couldn’t resist the influence of the two. Perhaps that said more about them than about her, but that was besides the fact.

“Well that settles it. He’s seeing someone,” Reagan nodded confidently.

“That’s quite the conclusion to draw,” Leliana looked at the inquisitor with a bemused smile on her face.

“He’s distracted, less grumpy, and _humming_. There’s no other explanation,” Well, there were, but Reagan quite preferred this theory. It was the most entertaining one. Also, a very pleasant one. If there was anyone who could use a bit of fun right now, it was him.

“Aw, that would be sweet if he was,” Josephine placed her hand on her cheek and giggled. “He’s quite adorable when he blushes about a girl,”

Almost on cue, the door to the war room opened and in stepped the commander in his usual fashion. “Sorry for the delay. I had to make some changes to the recruit’s training regimen today…”

Cullen then trailed off as he noticed the trio staring at him with… suspicious expressions to say the least. He moved slowly as he shut the door and approached the table with hesitation, like a knight trying to sneak by a sleeping dragon.

“But it’s all been sorted now, so it shouldn’t happen again,” he finished.  

“Right, yes sure, new recruits, but more importantly Cullen,” Reagan quickly responded. “Who are you courting?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Ah, excuse the inquisitor is being a little… unrefined in his questioning,” Josephine interjected. “We just noticed that you’ve been a little different lately. We… thought it might be because you were preoccupied,”

The commander gave the two an annoyed glare and crossed his arms. “If this is what is on today’s agenda, then I’m leaving,”

“It’s just a harmless question! I like to know what is going on in the lives of my inner circle,” Reagan responded, undeterred.

“You mean you like to gossip about what is going on in your inner circle,” Cullen let out a long sigh as took one of the reports from the desk and flipped through it.

“Oh, you’re no fun,”

“Now-now, our commander is right,” Leliana said casually, placing various tokens across the map. “If he doesn’t wish to discuss his personal life with us, then we’ll leave him be,”

“Thank you, Leliana,”

“Whatever he and the Champion do on their own time is between them. We should focus on our next mission,” she continued.

“Exactly. Wait, no! I- we- it’s not- I mean, she’s a lovely woman…we’re just-”

But it was too late, the damage was already done. No matter how he was going to try and spin it, they knew:

The commander was in love.


	13. The Details, Please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is of course, only one person who gossips more than the War Council.
> 
> It's Varric, of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I've had so many kudos and likes in the past week! Thank you so much to both my new and old readers! It really means a lot. <3
> 
> I thought I would share another fluff pice before getting back into the main plot, because obviously Varric would have something to say about this, because who doesn't want to hear about their best friend's new bae?
> 
> Happy Reading!

“Ha! So you and Curly-”

“Don’t, Varric,”

Varric leaned back in his chair. She wouldn’t call his expression smug, but he certainly seemed as pleased as punch. Like he had just solved a mystery.

“Never thought I’d see the day where Aerianne Hawke was blushing like a chantry girl again. First Cassandra, now you. It’s almost adorable. Almost,”

The champion turned away pulled her tankard to her face. “It’s the alcohol, I swear. You know how my face gets when I’ve had too much,”

The Herald’s Rest wasn’t their usual go-to spot to chat, but it was nice to have a change of pace and scenery. Although it wasn’t the Hanged Man, there was still a buzz of excitement; beautiful bards singing in the background, drunken young lads daring each other to do foolish tasks, tall stories about brave heroes and their conquests. The other nice addition was that unlike the Hanged man, neither of them had to worry about getting over the head with a broken bottle or contracting diseases just by sitting on a stool. Not that the old Kirkwall tavern didn’t have it’s charms.

“Sure it is,” Varric smirked. “And my ancestors were eight feet tall,”

“Look, I’m just telling you about us because you were going to find out anyway,” she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, her face still tinged with red with no signs of leaving. It really was the alcohol. She just needed to keep telling herself that.

Sure, she really… _really_ liked Cullen. Maybe it was the alcohol, or the start of a new relationship, but what was not to like about him? He was sweet, understanding, dedicate to his work, very handsome… but she wasn’t about to act like some sort of lovesick puppy about it.

Well, not outwardly.

“It all happened sort of fast, and we’re just trying to make sure it doesn’t affect our work,”

“Oh yeah. eight or so years of unresolved sexual tension is _real_ fast there, Hawke,”

“Need I remind you that you are still writing letters to your _married_ ex,”

“All inquisitor business, I swear,” the dwarf raised his hands up in defence. “For now. But let’s not talk about me,”

“We never talk about y-”

“The Commander!” he said loudly enough that a few of the patron’s jumped. Maybe it wasn’t the best of places to be having this conversation. Gossip in Skyhold went around faster than a mouse across the kitchen.

“So, who made the first move? The sweeping of feet? Was it when you got back from Crestwood? I bet it was,”

“This is going to be in another of your books, isn’t it? Or you have a bet going on,” those were really the only two reasons that Varric wanted details about her love life.

“Well, maybe I have some coin riding on this with Rivaini,” Varric continued. “She said that neither of you would make it past flirtatious bickering. I obviously, thought otherwise. You know, being the thinker of the team,”

“You’ve been placing bets with Isabela?” Even at this distance, those two always managed to get up to their antics one way or another. She wanted to say that she was surprised, but in all honesty, it should be expected.

“Well, it started as just letting everyone back home know that you were safe at Skyhold. Then Isabela being Isabela, of course…” Varric then pulled out of folded paper in his pocket to which Aerianne quickly snatched out of his hand.

Sure enough, it was the pirate captain’s handwriting. Formalities and inquisitor business quickly devolved into gambling and sexual innuendos.

_Nope. Not going to happen between them. What would they have to gain from sleeping together other than feelings?_

_You know, assuming he’s still got that boyish look to him and hasn’t suddenly become really hot. In which case, she might just ~~unsheathe his sword.~~_

_~~lead him into battle~~ _

_~~tempt the templar~~ _

_~~polish his armour~~ _

_open her rift._

_But let’s be honest, those two probably get off on sexual tension more than actual sex._

 

“Maker, Isabela,” the rogue said under her breath as she continued to read the letter. She was truly one of a kind.

“Gotta hand it to her for being creative,”

Aerianne gave the dwarf another dirty look, but then couldn’t help but break into laughter. This was ridiculous. As annoying at Varric was being, she honestly missed these pointless conversations, the ribbing. When was the last time they talked about anything that didn’t have to do with red lyrium or the end of the world?

“There she is,” Varric grinned, slowly drinking from his tankard. “Now there’s a laugh I haven’t heard in years,”

Aerianne smiled and then laid her head on the table, closing her eyes. If she let her mind drift long enough, she could almost hear the laughter, bickering and chit-chat of home. A distant memory that was more like a dream than reality. No matter what the problem they had, what issues plagued Kirkwall, the whole group could always come together for a nice pint at the Hanged Man.

“Alright Varric, you win,” she laughed as she lifted-up her head. “I’ll talk about Cullen, given that you treat this as a girl’s night out. ‘Ooos’ and ‘aws’ and all of it,”

“Finally. I’ve been waiting to be invited to one of these. Daisy always made them sound like a blast,” he leaned back over the table, his face beaming.

“Okay, so he’s awkward, but in the most adorable way and…”


	14. Since Then

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aerianne reflects on all that has changed since Kirkwall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a chapterrrr. Sorry for the delay folks. 
> 
> This is another sort of fluff piece before I move the plot along further. I noticed that I'd never really touched on Cullen going through is lyrium withdrawal and I was trying to figure out how I wanted to approach that. I also sort of wanted to connect Aerianne more to the ol' Kirkwall group, as I imagine some of that must have been happening while she was there. 
> 
> So it's mostly a 'reflective' chapter than anything else. Either way, happy reading!

Aerianne and Cullen tried to make sure that their new budding romance didn’t change too much in their lives. After all, they were fighting a war that decided the fate of the entirety of Thedas. They couldn’t let it interfere with their important work.

Well, not too much anyway. After all, one couldn’t help a playful wink during a meeting, or a lingering touch during a fighting demonstration. That’s what was part of the fun of an ‘office romance’. Besides, it’s not as though they really had an opportunity to be properly courting each other. Skyhold was large, but it was no bustling city like Kirkwall, where you could wine and dine in the fanciest restaurant or take a carriage ride down a country road. Not to mention that all the secret rendezvous places had already been taken up by other couples. The grove outside the walls, the library, the towers… all taken. When Varric said that the Inquisition was passionate, it seemed that he meant it in both love and war.

Still, there were some moments that Cullen and Aerianne could just be a normal couple, doing normal couple things; taking strolls in the garden, still having lunch, and of course, the nights spent together. Their relationship wasn’t perfect, but to say they weren’t happy would be an outright lie. Aerianne honestly hadn’t felt this way in quite some time.

Aerianne sat up in Cullen’s bed as he slept, looking over letters she’d received from everyone back home. The nice thing about staying in one place for awhile is that she had the time read them with care and react properly. She could finally read all the stories about Luna, her mabari, that Aveline wrote about. She did well to give her over to the guard; the job was perfect for her and it seemed that everyone loved her. Well, all the guards. She couldn’t say the same about the suspects.

And then there were Merrill’s letters; Always longwinded and disorganized, but so sweet and full of hope. She was still fighting the good fight in Kirwall, protecting the alienage from anyone who may have tried to harm the elves.

Isabela, much to Aerianne’s surprise, actually joined the inquisition as a field agent. _Don’t read into it._ _The money is good._ She wrote.

Which meant that Aerianne did exactly that. She always knew that Isabela had a heart to do the right thing, no matter how much the pirate denied it. Whatever they were paying her, couldn’t be as her other work has paid. Oh, the next time they met, she’d most certainly bug her about it.

Bethany’s letter was loving, though perhaps a bit resentful. _I could have come with you_. Maker, if there was anything that Aerianne wanted to spare her sister from was the Calling and another war. Besides, she could do real work in the Free Marches; maybe even dissuade Sebastien a bit more from trying to pick another fight against Kirkwall. That in and of itself was another story.

And while Gamlen said that everything was fine with the estate, it was still good to have someone actually keep tabs on him. Just in case. She didn’t want to have to come back to find herself having to steal back the deed yet again.

_Going home._ Now there was something she hadn’t thought of doing in a long time. Would she go back after all this? Could she go back?

Aerianne then heard a low grunt as she felt the bed shift slightly. She looked over and caught Cullen cracking his eyes open. He almost looked like a drowsy lion, underneath the furs of his bed. His nickname really did suit him.

“Didn’t realize you were already up,” Cullen yawned as he adjusted himself on the pillow to face her. Although between the two of them there wasn’t much sleep to be had, he was still usually up before her. His bed was surprisingly comfortable. Nothing fancy, but it was enough so that even if Aerianne couldn’t sleep, it was nice just to huddle underneath the blankets and _pretend_ to sleep. 

“You looked peaceful,” Aerianne smiled. “I thought you could use the undisturbed rest for once. Even if for a few hours,” Indeed, it was rare to see the commander looking calm while he slept. For obvious reasons.

“Sorry if I woke you last night,” he replied, his voice tinted with slight frustration.

“You know you don’t need to apologize,” she leaned over him and pecked him on the forehead. “It’s not something you can control,”  

“I should be able by this point,” Another deep sigh. Aerianne’s eyes fluttered softly as she slowly slipped her hands under the covers and squeezed his hand in hers. Stubborn as always.

Just as she tried to be honest with her problems, Cullen had been upfront with her about lyrium. The withdrawal symptoms, the memories, and the process of getting off all seemed very arduous. The amount of work that he threw himself into made a lot more sense now, as did his bouts of irritation. Though, she could think of worse coping mechanisms.

 “You’ll get there,” she said, her thumb making little circles on the top of his hand. “If you have a Seeker still supporting your decision, then you know you must be doing something right,”

He cracked a slight half-smile. “Well, hopefully her faith is in the right place,”

“I don’t know Cassandra very well, but she didn’t seem the type to throw her faith around blindly,” By the sounds of it, most of her hunches and assumptions had been correct. she was somehow more stubborn than Cullen, which Aerianne didn’t think possible. And in some ways, more intimidating than Meredith; which she also didn’t think possible. Honestly, Cassandra Pentaghast was something else, but in a good way.

“And if a Seeker isn’t enough for you, remember that a former Champion also believes in you too,”

She then felt his hand tighten around hers as he pulled it up from under the covers and up to his lips. Aerianne took the opportunity to lie back down, curling up close and resting her head on his chest. She could hear the slow thuds of his heart beating. Despite his frustration, at least he was calm.

It was going to be hard for him. She wished she could tell Cullen that’d be all fine soon. That it would only get easier and that he wouldn’t have another problem in his life. But that would do a disservice to him. It was going to be difficult. Painful. There would be points where he’d probably wonder if any of this would be worth it

But ultimately, it would get better. She could see that for him, even if he couldn’t. Her violet eyes look carefully up at him as he stayed seemingly in deep thought.

Though there were parts of him that were still the same, Cullen had changed a lot over the past four years. There was a nuance and understanding in him that she’d never seen before. He still had his reservations about magic, but the hatred he had once held against them, the anger, he somehow managed to work past it. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d seen someone do that before. Meredith was his knight-commander, his mentor. He was so loyal to her when others had long since abandoned her. But in the end, he was the one who turned on her, who tried to change her mind. Who sided with Aerianne Hawke, the mage sympathiser, of all people.

So much had changed since everyone’s time in Kirkwall, but perhaps he was the one who did the most and for the better. Even if he didn’t see it.

“You’ve come a long way, Cullen,” she whispered. “Trust me,”


End file.
